Something that always strikes me is that the trans allies who disagree with us almost never ask us any questions. Not even questions like: where did you get this crap? Why on earth would you think this? What do you mean when you say we’re sterilizing gay kids?
I hadn't thought about this but it's pretty remarkable and unusual. I'm usually focused on the wider lack of curiosity I see, specifically among clinicians. Maybe this is true in other fields as well, but people are making a pretty big fuss about what's happening to kids and are bringing up some pretty compelling issues, like the effect of social media and porn on young minds, the increasing numbers of detransitioners, the lack of long-term data, and the weakness of studies used to support blockers/hormones/surgery. Yet I don't hear clinicians expressing genuine interest or really any interest at all. I haven't spoken to a single clinician who was at all curious about the points I was making. The pat response was "We follow WPATH." None of the clinicians had looked beyond their comfortable affirming sources. They do not seem to have the capacity to question their own biases and blind spots. They are utterly convinced that there is no validity to any of the concerns, providing only weak anecdotal evidence to support their beliefs and opinions, which would be okay, except for, you know… they're transitioning kids!
Then there's the "educate yourself" messaging that my kid started in with early on. Usually, when you want to bring people to your side of the equation, it's hard to shut up. You want to explain and defend and argue. Instead we get shallow mantras. TWAW with no interest in anything deeper, probably because when anyone tries to explain this, the logic just falls apart, which I assume is the reason we're not getting these questions. Because then they'd actually have to face the answers.
This is absolutely perfect and what’s been on my mind this holiday season. I had all my kids home, we’ve argued over gender politics before, and have gotten to ‘agree to disagree’ to protect my heart, but then they were all here, 6 people under the age of 24 I know they all think that the lady of the house, the former punk, the artist, the life-long feminist, the LGB ally, the leftist, has become a bigot, but don’t they wonder why? Aren’t they curious?
I had answers ready. The answers played over and over in my head. And if they didn’t ask any questions I hoped that just one news story would hum through the family and I could say, I disagree with this ideology, would you like to ask me why? Or maybe, I know you’ve heard that some disagree, aren’t you curious at all, maybe from a feminist perspective, or a child safeguarding, or sports, or art, or… don’t you want to know what the other side says?
But nothing. We used to, just four years ago, talk about everything, art, politics, rights, now nothing…. This food is great mom.
I hadn't thought about this but it's pretty remarkable and unusual. I'm usually focused on the wider lack of curiosity I see, specifically among clinicians. Maybe this is true in other fields as well, but people are making a pretty big fuss about what's happening to kids and are bringing up some pretty compelling issues, like the effect of social media and porn on young minds, the increasing numbers of detransitioners, the lack of long-term data, and the weakness of studies used to support blockers/hormones/surgery. Yet I don't hear clinicians expressing genuine interest or really any interest at all. I haven't spoken to a single clinician who was at all curious about the points I was making. The pat response was "We follow WPATH." None of the clinicians had looked beyond their comfortable affirming sources. They do not seem to have the capacity to question their own biases and blind spots. They are utterly convinced that there is no validity to any of the concerns, providing only weak anecdotal evidence to support their beliefs and opinions, which would be okay, except for, you know… they're transitioning kids!
Then there's the "educate yourself" messaging that my kid started in with early on. Usually, when you want to bring people to your side of the equation, it's hard to shut up. You want to explain and defend and argue. Instead we get shallow mantras. TWAW with no interest in anything deeper, probably because when anyone tries to explain this, the logic just falls apart, which I assume is the reason we're not getting these questions. Because then they'd actually have to face the answers.
This is absolutely perfect and what’s been on my mind this holiday season. I had all my kids home, we’ve argued over gender politics before, and have gotten to ‘agree to disagree’ to protect my heart, but then they were all here, 6 people under the age of 24 I know they all think that the lady of the house, the former punk, the artist, the life-long feminist, the LGB ally, the leftist, has become a bigot, but don’t they wonder why? Aren’t they curious?
I had answers ready. The answers played over and over in my head. And if they didn’t ask any questions I hoped that just one news story would hum through the family and I could say, I disagree with this ideology, would you like to ask me why? Or maybe, I know you’ve heard that some disagree, aren’t you curious at all, maybe from a feminist perspective, or a child safeguarding, or sports, or art, or… don’t you want to know what the other side says?
But nothing. We used to, just four years ago, talk about everything, art, politics, rights, now nothing…. This food is great mom.
Thanks.
Beautifully complimenting the essential homophobia of the cult, is the 'don't ask don't tell' mentality. Because ignorance is bliss.