Heartbreaking. Adulthood can be spent grieving a painful childhood while trying desperately to figure out why we were treated the way we were. When parents and other adults don't take responsibility for their mistakes, children blame themselves and, as some of us may know, blaming oneself for being treated poorly can become unbearable. I can't articulate how damaging denial and gaslighting in childhood can be. It weighs heavy upon me how many children are used to satisfy adult needs and will bear the scars of that the rest of their lives. I don't think it's hopeless and I have witnessed people heal but I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone. It's one of the reasons I still believe it's incredibly important for adults to examine their own wounds and learn to care for themselves so they don't pass on their wounds to their children or make children responsible for healing their parents.
I think medicalizing children and psychologically manipulating them places an unbearable burden on children's shoulders and while some will "adjust" and pass on their wounding to more children, completely unaware of what they're doing or the harm they're causing, others will live with a sense of "wrongness" that haunts them. If I could say anything to the adults doing this to children, I'd say "Before you rush to 'fix' your kid, heal yourself first."
Heartbreaking. Adulthood can be spent grieving a painful childhood while trying desperately to figure out why we were treated the way we were. When parents and other adults don't take responsibility for their mistakes, children blame themselves and, as some of us may know, blaming oneself for being treated poorly can become unbearable. I can't articulate how damaging denial and gaslighting in childhood can be. It weighs heavy upon me how many children are used to satisfy adult needs and will bear the scars of that the rest of their lives. I don't think it's hopeless and I have witnessed people heal but I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone. It's one of the reasons I still believe it's incredibly important for adults to examine their own wounds and learn to care for themselves so they don't pass on their wounds to their children or make children responsible for healing their parents.
I think medicalizing children and psychologically manipulating them places an unbearable burden on children's shoulders and while some will "adjust" and pass on their wounding to more children, completely unaware of what they're doing or the harm they're causing, others will live with a sense of "wrongness" that haunts them. If I could say anything to the adults doing this to children, I'd say "Before you rush to 'fix' your kid, heal yourself first."
that poem!