One of my field ‘sites’ is r/ftm. This post is typical in its discussion of sexism, feminism, and the outright denial any of these experiences apply: "I am so privileged to be a man (albeit trans) who doesn’t have to worry about being dismissed for being a woman. I won’t have to face misogyny in whatever study or career I want to pursue... TL;DR... feminism and equality for women is good, but stop directing it towards me, I’m not a woman."
I so agree. I hate the condescension of the terms only females are called, like "sassy," as you said, or "feisty." Stop all oppression of girls and women and all the propaganda lauding males, and that would help stop girls from feeling they must not be girls. ALL females have "body dysphoria," which is why most try to alter themselves, even to death.
There's a distinct type of distancing that many girls and women do that feels familiar in the examples you used. I noticed in myself when I was younger and even in women who disown the label "feminist". I definitely noticed it when I was going to visit a colleague outside of work and she notified me that her gf did NOT use female pronouns.
I was in my twenties, I think, when someone pointed out that "tomboys" are indulged and loved, whereas "effeminate" boys are shunned and scorned; it's because society likes maleness/masculinity rather more than it likes femaleness/femininity. I thought: how stupid of me not to notice that before?
Now, of course, the tomboys are praised as much as ever but are also told that they're actual boys. The option of being a girl who exhibits those prized "masculine" characteristics isn't there any more.
I so agree. I hate the condescension of the terms only females are called, like "sassy," as you said, or "feisty." Stop all oppression of girls and women and all the propaganda lauding males, and that would help stop girls from feeling they must not be girls. ALL females have "body dysphoria," which is why most try to alter themselves, even to death.
Absolutely, perfectly spot on.
There's a distinct type of distancing that many girls and women do that feels familiar in the examples you used. I noticed in myself when I was younger and even in women who disown the label "feminist". I definitely noticed it when I was going to visit a colleague outside of work and she notified me that her gf did NOT use female pronouns.
It's almost as if being female is an insult.
I was in my twenties, I think, when someone pointed out that "tomboys" are indulged and loved, whereas "effeminate" boys are shunned and scorned; it's because society likes maleness/masculinity rather more than it likes femaleness/femininity. I thought: how stupid of me not to notice that before?
Now, of course, the tomboys are praised as much as ever but are also told that they're actual boys. The option of being a girl who exhibits those prized "masculine" characteristics isn't there any more.