Although my grown sons do not speak to me now, due to their father's successful alienation of affection, I look back on my 2 pregnancies and the natural births I was fortunate enough to experience with great love, wonder and awe. I brought 2 human lives into the world. While I might have made the same choice if I'd been unexpectedly pregnant in my teens, I don't think I'd write about it so glibly. But then, I wasn't having sex at that age. I had a couple of boyfriends but sex was off the table. I didn't want to take that chance. What I did want, before I discovered my then husband's secret crossdressing life, was a third child. The second labor was so fast (5 hours, no anesthesia, no episiotomy, no vaginal tears--bless that midwife!) that I figured I could do it again, we'd have this cozy family of three children, mom and pop. We wouldn't be rich but we'd be happy. When I found out Neddy was claiming to be me, the mother, and using the narrative of my labors to "prove" it, I felt quite erased. The mother of one of my sons' friends asked me, in front of my sons, why they were calling me "Mom." I decided to tell her all the details Neddy had forgotten. Despite all of the abusive crossdressers telling me I'm so hateful, I feel blessed to be a natural, happy woman. Now, to the weeding in the butterfly garden. A flock of mourning doves recently took up residence.
What always strikes me reading about the female perspective is the thought of the source and of this - forced - experience.
How it comes that the very core and source of existence - femaleness - gets to be seen as the eternal 'other', shoved out of view under dark, heavy covers.
Everything is inverted and perverted, so man be able to declare himself "king", "creator" and even "god" - and a totally neurotic one at that - since he, at least subconcious, just has to know, feel, he is NOT the core, he is NOT the source, he is NOT the creator; spiralling more and more away from anything that would and should elevate human being, only for this endless cycle of trying to make himself supreme. Which he is not.
Nobody is, alone.
We just have to look at the state of the world, this man-made one; it doesn't even matter if today or days long gone. There we see the results of all this, clear as day
How can you think yourself 'above', if all you can is taking and using from others?
When you need anothers whole existence - mind, body, soul - for you to take and posess, to use and exploit since otherwise you would be none of all that you tell the world you "really are"?
When you have to lie and decieve, to conspire behind the back of your very own sisters, mothers, daughters to isolate and violently coerce them into unnatural submission - which you never can stop to enforce, not even for a moment, otherwise your construct will fall apart that very moment.
And all that.... for what exactly?
What has it really brought, even for men?
At best, a neverending condition of violent neuroticism and a complete dissociation of what it means to be human.
The worst we can see - still, every day - in women and girl's reality and all its consequences.
Even as a middle aged woman with kids I find Schneck’s reflections relatable, at least as far as “this female embodiment thing sucks” and “stupid body BETRAYING me”
Although in my case no teen pregnancy (I was terrified of the thought of sex tbh) but my body very much betrayed me when I gave birth the first time. My own mother had assured me giving birth was painful, sure, but also super quick and easy and I believed her. And…I had complications of the “daughter and I could have died” variety 🥲 If not for Schneck, I’m not sure I would have recognized that I had filed that under “femaleness betrays me yet again”
Interesting point of view. While I tend to look for how anything relates to the plague of pushing medical transition, I didn't have to look far in this article. Sure, a teenage girl thinks her body is a problem, too vulnerable, too subject to judgment, too uncomfortable, and so on. She decides that being in a "male" body (she thinks "T" will turn her body into a male body) will free her from all of that. In some ways, it makes perfect sense. Too bad it's just terribly harmful to the body, causing it to be less healthy; never actually creates a male body, but just a female body that looks more male; and, perhaps most importantly, fails entirely to take into account all that is beautiful about being a woman.
Indeed. Though I was sort of expecting the post to be about some transwoman complaining about "her new body" ... 😉🙂 But the actual post was something of a pleasant surprise affording some useful insights -- women have a few extra burdens in the reproduction department that men generally don't fully appreciate. Why I periodically think it might be useful if we could actually change sex -- walk a mile or two in someone else's shoes.
But, in other news, you might have some interest in a so-far brief conversation I'm having with Richard Dawkins:
Schneck is intellectualizing abortion; a waste of time; anyone who reads the piece will be left dissatisfied, because it ignores the fundamental; that abortion breaks natural law ; regardless what religion you are or are not.
And this is the entire point of this article. That women, and only women, have the burden and responsibility of experiencing an unwanted pregnancy, thus making us confront the enormous challenge of facing our vulnerability.
I wasn't dissatisfied at all. I was deeply moved because a young woman's experience with puberty is never discussed. I, too, became pregnant in my teens, despite using birth control. I felt betrayed and overwhelmed. I chose not to have the baby but did eventually have two children and loved them with all my heart.
The fact that we're even debating this issue shows just how little women have control over their own body. It also shows how little respect women are given in this culture. We demonize women for 'getting' pregnant, as if even women who were raped actively chose to do so. Yet, we almost NEVER shame, blame or confront men for their role in the rate of abortions that are happening.
In our culture, men are taught that having sex without consequences is their right. Their bodies will never face the burden of unwanted pregnancy and men are often the ones who pressure women into having an abortion - especially now that they're forced (thankfully) to pay child support.
So, hack to the author's point, it's not unusual that young women in so many ways are trying to escape their bodies in this culture. Their bodies are treated with contempt. Until that changes, we will continue to see women rejecting themselves, their bodies and their pregnancies. It's a huge price to pay just because the alpha men at the top want to dominate and control everything.
6 million women become pregnant as a result of rape? What annually? I don’t know, but what culture are tbe rapists from predominantly? Men are not thought in our western culture that having sex without consequences is their right. Women get treated very well in our culture generally speaking, and for every case of a man pressuring a woman into an abortion, there are 10 women who refuse to continue their pregnancy, despite the father begging them to have the baby. Abortion is not a feminist issue, it’s a crime against children and parents.
Have you consulted your local rape crisis centre lately? You seem out of touch. Virtually EVERY woman in my family has either been raped, assaulted, beaten or harassed, including myself - on many occasions Every mother, sister, aunt, grandmother have had to fend off male sexual aggression during their lifetime. I STILL routinely experience this when I'm out at clubs - even in my 60's!!! That's what the #MeToo movement was about. The prevalence of women having to deal with male sexual aggression in all kinds of situations. Home, work, recreation, gym, etc.
I've encountered it in intimate relationships, too. That's where women are MOST likely to experience abuse. Imagine...the man who is supposed to love and respect you is the person you need to be most wary of.
So, it's cruelly simplistic to just shove women under the bus who are forced to make dire choices. Never mind issues with men. Women have to choose in situations where she should doe or her baby if she has a high risk pregnancy. She has to choose whether she will have the baby and allow her many other children to go hungry while the father is out drinking and cheating on her. There are SO MANY situations where women are utterly and cruelly forced into horrific circumstances. I WILL NOT JUDGE any woman for making her choice when she is not supported AFTER she decides to bear the child. She is literally abandoned and left to her own pathetically limited resources. We pile on HER and let HIM walk away.
Ultimately, this culture does not value women OR children or none of this would happen. And don't even get me started on birth control. OMG, that's a whole other nightmare.
Beautifully said. You’ve come here with nuance, direct life experience, and understanding.. which I feel is the only reasonable way to deal with this fraught issue 🌹
Domestic violence is a relationship issue; and there are laws in the west to prosecute offenders. Raping and murdering women does not constitute a crime in many other cultures as you know. I certainly do not judge anyone who has an abortion; we have free will; you make your choice, you live with the consequences.
It is not race hatred to despise violent and damaging cultural practices-and when people try to imply that those pointing this out are racist it is actually detrimental to this important conversation-it’s not racist to despise cultural practices that view women as property.
It isn’t race hatred to understand that men who are coming from countries where women are property are mistreating British women. It is reality and doesn’t erase the violence British men do
The natural law is that women are the deciders of death and life. It is a grave responsibility to have to choose to end a life that depends on you-to assess the reality of what a child will be coming into (poverty, war, or an abusive relationship for example).
This inherent status / responsibility we hold is beyond the reach and status of any law, and we don’t need permission to act as God in these cases because we ARE the creator god in these cases.
Women have been causing their own abortions since far before written history, even animals know which herbs to eat to cause a release of their little fetus if the time is not right.
I agree that there are spiritual consequences to choosing not to go through with a pregnancy, but nothing about women choosing not to carry children to term goes against nature 💜 sadly, rape also does not go against nature, in any way…the animal kingdom is built upon it
“ It is a grave responsibility to have to choose to end a life that depends on you-to assess the reality of what a child will be coming into (poverty, war, or an abusive relationship for example).”
🙌 I know a woman who had been very excited about pregnancy. Her boyfriend then tried to kill her. The police told her there was no proof (hysterical bc she was very obviously battered!!!) so she chose abortion bc she was afraid that to do otherwise would keep this guy in her life (and if she wasn’t in a relationship with him but he insisted on parental rights, she wouldn’t be able to protect her child)
So refreshing to see others who understand the depth of our responsibility as women. It is not just to bring forth life, but also to avoid bringing a child into existence when it is necessary
Animals are not human. Only humans are rational and can engage in long complicated arguments, based on abstract ideas. The reason we can do this and animals can’t, is because only humans have intellectual souls. I said abortion goes against natural law, I did not say it goes against “nature” but having an abortion goes against our human nature and that will never go well, no matter how much we try to rationalize it. Natural law is spiritual law, law of the universe, call it what you like; but a human being is connected to the divine ; the creator of all life, so when we choose death; to end a life that of our own child, we sever our connection to the divine.
I find it very egotistical how so many humans believe we are the only creatures with reasoning minds. You have absolutely no way of knowing that, realistically, reasonably, and definitely not empirically.
the hubris with which humans believe this is actually a mark of inferior understanding…
Animals act on survival instinct; you don’t need a PHD to know that. I love animals; I have a cat, he’s very affectionate and I adore him, but if I dropped dead in the morning and he’s alone with my dead body for a few days.. we’l he’s not going to agonize about taking a bite out of my remains, because he’s hungry.
You* also act on survival instincts. You * are not separate from the animal kingdom. Your cat likely has thoughts feelings and experiences that you have not guessed-that’s stay I’m talking about. Humans have taken our inability to communicate deeply with other beings (it was a skill we had and lost, and some still have it) and because we can’t communicate we make assumptions about what animals think feel etc. none of it is based in reality, because in reality *we do not know *. So if we don’t know, and have no way to know…then why make statements about their intellectual connection to the divine…again, it’s just flawed
Your view of other beings and my view of them…are fundamentally at odds. Our spiritual beliefs do not align. That’s perfectly fine, of course-for me it is not up for debate. I came to my conclusions through much consideration. I’m sure you did too.
It’s my experience that there is no human animal mountain river stone or grain of sand that is not connected to the divine.
To participate in the complexity of life including the gravity a woman’s responsibility to make life and death decisions—this is what it is to be connected to the divine. The divine is All and so even suffering, pain, killing and dying…are all divine.
You and I will have to agree to disagree on this one ♥️
Although my grown sons do not speak to me now, due to their father's successful alienation of affection, I look back on my 2 pregnancies and the natural births I was fortunate enough to experience with great love, wonder and awe. I brought 2 human lives into the world. While I might have made the same choice if I'd been unexpectedly pregnant in my teens, I don't think I'd write about it so glibly. But then, I wasn't having sex at that age. I had a couple of boyfriends but sex was off the table. I didn't want to take that chance. What I did want, before I discovered my then husband's secret crossdressing life, was a third child. The second labor was so fast (5 hours, no anesthesia, no episiotomy, no vaginal tears--bless that midwife!) that I figured I could do it again, we'd have this cozy family of three children, mom and pop. We wouldn't be rich but we'd be happy. When I found out Neddy was claiming to be me, the mother, and using the narrative of my labors to "prove" it, I felt quite erased. The mother of one of my sons' friends asked me, in front of my sons, why they were calling me "Mom." I decided to tell her all the details Neddy had forgotten. Despite all of the abusive crossdressers telling me I'm so hateful, I feel blessed to be a natural, happy woman. Now, to the weeding in the butterfly garden. A flock of mourning doves recently took up residence.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/t0Osni_OxuA
Centuries over centuries of erasure.
What always strikes me reading about the female perspective is the thought of the source and of this - forced - experience.
How it comes that the very core and source of existence - femaleness - gets to be seen as the eternal 'other', shoved out of view under dark, heavy covers.
Everything is inverted and perverted, so man be able to declare himself "king", "creator" and even "god" - and a totally neurotic one at that - since he, at least subconcious, just has to know, feel, he is NOT the core, he is NOT the source, he is NOT the creator; spiralling more and more away from anything that would and should elevate human being, only for this endless cycle of trying to make himself supreme. Which he is not.
Nobody is, alone.
We just have to look at the state of the world, this man-made one; it doesn't even matter if today or days long gone. There we see the results of all this, clear as day
How can you think yourself 'above', if all you can is taking and using from others?
When you need anothers whole existence - mind, body, soul - for you to take and posess, to use and exploit since otherwise you would be none of all that you tell the world you "really are"?
When you have to lie and decieve, to conspire behind the back of your very own sisters, mothers, daughters to isolate and violently coerce them into unnatural submission - which you never can stop to enforce, not even for a moment, otherwise your construct will fall apart that very moment.
And all that.... for what exactly?
What has it really brought, even for men?
At best, a neverending condition of violent neuroticism and a complete dissociation of what it means to be human.
The worst we can see - still, every day - in women and girl's reality and all its consequences.
Beautifully expressed. I agree that much of men’s issues come from a place of being unable to accept they are beholden to US for their very existence
This is gorgeous.
“ Woman is - creative BE-ing
Omega -
Past and future seeing.
Bleeding His seed into Material Meaning
Renewing the earth through the Sacrament of birth
It’s No wonder these men want to Be us-
Creative geniUS
Defines us
Our inner vessels guide souls To earth
Defying space and time
Creating flesh !
My womb -a portal to the divine”
(From the poem Soul Guider)
Even as a middle aged woman with kids I find Schneck’s reflections relatable, at least as far as “this female embodiment thing sucks” and “stupid body BETRAYING me”
Although in my case no teen pregnancy (I was terrified of the thought of sex tbh) but my body very much betrayed me when I gave birth the first time. My own mother had assured me giving birth was painful, sure, but also super quick and easy and I believed her. And…I had complications of the “daughter and I could have died” variety 🥲 If not for Schneck, I’m not sure I would have recognized that I had filed that under “femaleness betrays me yet again”
Interesting point of view. While I tend to look for how anything relates to the plague of pushing medical transition, I didn't have to look far in this article. Sure, a teenage girl thinks her body is a problem, too vulnerable, too subject to judgment, too uncomfortable, and so on. She decides that being in a "male" body (she thinks "T" will turn her body into a male body) will free her from all of that. In some ways, it makes perfect sense. Too bad it's just terribly harmful to the body, causing it to be less healthy; never actually creates a male body, but just a female body that looks more male; and, perhaps most importantly, fails entirely to take into account all that is beautiful about being a woman.
> "Interesting point of view."
Indeed. Though I was sort of expecting the post to be about some transwoman complaining about "her new body" ... 😉🙂 But the actual post was something of a pleasant surprise affording some useful insights -- women have a few extra burdens in the reproduction department that men generally don't fully appreciate. Why I periodically think it might be useful if we could actually change sex -- walk a mile or two in someone else's shoes.
But, in other news, you might have some interest in a so-far brief conversation I'm having with Richard Dawkins:
https://richarddawkins.substack.com/p/the-delegates-tale/comment/66131750
Particularly since he's trotted out that bogus analogy with bipedality that we've discussed in some depth ... 😉🙂
https://humanuseofhumanbeings.substack.com/p/accidental-and-essential-properties
My favorite thing you’ve written.
“ Is there a place for *my* desire after all this world has forced on me.
Can I act Willfully when bound by ovaries.
By my creativity.
My Womb- a public resource, never felt like it belonged to Me.”
((From the poem Omega))
I’m delighted by this share, going to seek out this book
There's a fantastic poem by Judith Wright that portrays this kind of adolescent female dilemma really well
https://allpoetry.com/Naked-Girl-And-Mirror
Well, it seems you've turned your life around -- or at least your avatar/photo ... 😉🙂
But thanks for some interesting insights.
Schneck is intellectualizing abortion; a waste of time; anyone who reads the piece will be left dissatisfied, because it ignores the fundamental; that abortion breaks natural law ; regardless what religion you are or are not.
And this is the entire point of this article. That women, and only women, have the burden and responsibility of experiencing an unwanted pregnancy, thus making us confront the enormous challenge of facing our vulnerability.
I wasn't dissatisfied at all. I was deeply moved because a young woman's experience with puberty is never discussed. I, too, became pregnant in my teens, despite using birth control. I felt betrayed and overwhelmed. I chose not to have the baby but did eventually have two children and loved them with all my heart.
Abortion DOES break natural law. So does rape. Are you aware that 6 million women became pregnant from rape? https://medicalxpress.com/news/2024-01-million-american-women-pregnant-rape.html
The fact that we're even debating this issue shows just how little women have control over their own body. It also shows how little respect women are given in this culture. We demonize women for 'getting' pregnant, as if even women who were raped actively chose to do so. Yet, we almost NEVER shame, blame or confront men for their role in the rate of abortions that are happening.
This is a powerful article by a Mormon woman with 6 children that describes the ridiculous lengths women are expected to go through to avoid pregnancy and the minimal effort men contribute to avoiding pregnancy. https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/abortion-pregnancy-pro-life_uk_5ba20e08e4b046313fc0bda5
In our culture, men are taught that having sex without consequences is their right. Their bodies will never face the burden of unwanted pregnancy and men are often the ones who pressure women into having an abortion - especially now that they're forced (thankfully) to pay child support.
So, hack to the author's point, it's not unusual that young women in so many ways are trying to escape their bodies in this culture. Their bodies are treated with contempt. Until that changes, we will continue to see women rejecting themselves, their bodies and their pregnancies. It's a huge price to pay just because the alpha men at the top want to dominate and control everything.
Yes, unwanted pregnancy results from a man who is unable to control his orgasm - who ever talks about it!
6 million women become pregnant as a result of rape? What annually? I don’t know, but what culture are tbe rapists from predominantly? Men are not thought in our western culture that having sex without consequences is their right. Women get treated very well in our culture generally speaking, and for every case of a man pressuring a woman into an abortion, there are 10 women who refuse to continue their pregnancy, despite the father begging them to have the baby. Abortion is not a feminist issue, it’s a crime against children and parents.
Have you consulted your local rape crisis centre lately? You seem out of touch. Virtually EVERY woman in my family has either been raped, assaulted, beaten or harassed, including myself - on many occasions Every mother, sister, aunt, grandmother have had to fend off male sexual aggression during their lifetime. I STILL routinely experience this when I'm out at clubs - even in my 60's!!! That's what the #MeToo movement was about. The prevalence of women having to deal with male sexual aggression in all kinds of situations. Home, work, recreation, gym, etc.
I've encountered it in intimate relationships, too. That's where women are MOST likely to experience abuse. Imagine...the man who is supposed to love and respect you is the person you need to be most wary of.
So, it's cruelly simplistic to just shove women under the bus who are forced to make dire choices. Never mind issues with men. Women have to choose in situations where she should doe or her baby if she has a high risk pregnancy. She has to choose whether she will have the baby and allow her many other children to go hungry while the father is out drinking and cheating on her. There are SO MANY situations where women are utterly and cruelly forced into horrific circumstances. I WILL NOT JUDGE any woman for making her choice when she is not supported AFTER she decides to bear the child. She is literally abandoned and left to her own pathetically limited resources. We pile on HER and let HIM walk away.
Ultimately, this culture does not value women OR children or none of this would happen. And don't even get me started on birth control. OMG, that's a whole other nightmare.
Beautifully said. You’ve come here with nuance, direct life experience, and understanding.. which I feel is the only reasonable way to deal with this fraught issue 🌹
Domestic violence is a relationship issue; and there are laws in the west to prosecute offenders. Raping and murdering women does not constitute a crime in many other cultures as you know. I certainly do not judge anyone who has an abortion; we have free will; you make your choice, you live with the consequences.
Yes, that’s what happen when you dissolve your borders and let in millions of unidentifiable males from izlamic cultures.
Yes. It is damaging to our societies to allow people in who do not want to live by our values.
It is not race hatred to despise violent and damaging cultural practices-and when people try to imply that those pointing this out are racist it is actually detrimental to this important conversation-it’s not racist to despise cultural practices that view women as property.
It isn’t race hatred to understand that men who are coming from countries where women are property are mistreating British women. It is reality and doesn’t erase the violence British men do
There is no such thing as "natural law".
The natural law is that women are the deciders of death and life. It is a grave responsibility to have to choose to end a life that depends on you-to assess the reality of what a child will be coming into (poverty, war, or an abusive relationship for example).
This inherent status / responsibility we hold is beyond the reach and status of any law, and we don’t need permission to act as God in these cases because we ARE the creator god in these cases.
Women have been causing their own abortions since far before written history, even animals know which herbs to eat to cause a release of their little fetus if the time is not right.
I agree that there are spiritual consequences to choosing not to go through with a pregnancy, but nothing about women choosing not to carry children to term goes against nature 💜 sadly, rape also does not go against nature, in any way…the animal kingdom is built upon it
“ It is a grave responsibility to have to choose to end a life that depends on you-to assess the reality of what a child will be coming into (poverty, war, or an abusive relationship for example).”
🙌 I know a woman who had been very excited about pregnancy. Her boyfriend then tried to kill her. The police told her there was no proof (hysterical bc she was very obviously battered!!!) so she chose abortion bc she was afraid that to do otherwise would keep this guy in her life (and if she wasn’t in a relationship with him but he insisted on parental rights, she wouldn’t be able to protect her child)
So refreshing to see others who understand the depth of our responsibility as women. It is not just to bring forth life, but also to avoid bringing a child into existence when it is necessary
Animals are not human. Only humans are rational and can engage in long complicated arguments, based on abstract ideas. The reason we can do this and animals can’t, is because only humans have intellectual souls. I said abortion goes against natural law, I did not say it goes against “nature” but having an abortion goes against our human nature and that will never go well, no matter how much we try to rationalize it. Natural law is spiritual law, law of the universe, call it what you like; but a human being is connected to the divine ; the creator of all life, so when we choose death; to end a life that of our own child, we sever our connection to the divine.
P.s.
I find it very egotistical how so many humans believe we are the only creatures with reasoning minds. You have absolutely no way of knowing that, realistically, reasonably, and definitely not empirically.
the hubris with which humans believe this is actually a mark of inferior understanding…
Animals act on survival instinct; you don’t need a PHD to know that. I love animals; I have a cat, he’s very affectionate and I adore him, but if I dropped dead in the morning and he’s alone with my dead body for a few days.. we’l he’s not going to agonize about taking a bite out of my remains, because he’s hungry.
You* also act on survival instincts. You * are not separate from the animal kingdom. Your cat likely has thoughts feelings and experiences that you have not guessed-that’s stay I’m talking about. Humans have taken our inability to communicate deeply with other beings (it was a skill we had and lost, and some still have it) and because we can’t communicate we make assumptions about what animals think feel etc. none of it is based in reality, because in reality *we do not know *. So if we don’t know, and have no way to know…then why make statements about their intellectual connection to the divine…again, it’s just flawed
Well i wish we had the same appreciation and consideration for the child in the womb as we seem to have here for “the animal kingdom “.
Your view of other beings and my view of them…are fundamentally at odds. Our spiritual beliefs do not align. That’s perfectly fine, of course-for me it is not up for debate. I came to my conclusions through much consideration. I’m sure you did too.
It’s my experience that there is no human animal mountain river stone or grain of sand that is not connected to the divine.
To participate in the complexity of life including the gravity a woman’s responsibility to make life and death decisions—this is what it is to be connected to the divine. The divine is All and so even suffering, pain, killing and dying…are all divine.
You and I will have to agree to disagree on this one ♥️
Yes I agree with you, there is no human or animal, mountain or stone or indeed anything ion this earth, that is not connected to the Divine