There's nothing wrong with a little boy who relates to female characters and prefers toys and clothes typically favored by girls. There's always a suggestion that readers shouldn't focus on the details parents cite when they talk about their small children's cross-sex identification—that it all runs much,
If it wasn't serious in its implications fot the wee boy, it would be laughable. There are no "girls toys" or "boys toys", just toys; no "boys clothes" or "girls clothes", just clothes. Anyone claiming that there are right or wrong toys/clothes based on the sex of the child should be laughed out of town, not celebrated.
My millennial aged son has a facebook friend who has been convinced her child is trans since they were about two or three years old (I can't remember which gender the child is). I do worry about that child. We're in Kansas, so I don't know how easy it will be to get whatever treatment she needs to "affirm" them.
It's so easy for parents to manipulate their small children, intentionally or not.
Thank you for this article. Parents are a big part of the problem. The more modern the parent, the greater the danger the child is in. Bill Maher pointed out in his recent segment on this that there are far more transgender kids in upscale areas of California than in the Midwest, and it's because of the parents. Upscale parents WANT to have a trans kid because they are somehow "special", and they are also a "project". Rearing a trans kid shows how liberal and "hip" they are. What's even worse is that in California, your kid can be taken away from you if you DON'T encourage any desire they have to transition.
When I was a boy, I didn't have any love of dresses, but I probably would have played with dolls if they weren't a "girl" thing. (In other words, I knew my parents would disapprove.) If I were a boy today, showing an interest in dolls might put me on the road to getting my penis cut off.
Yes, there seems to be a social contagion amongst parents too.
I remember in the 80s parents speaking about their ADHD kids...how disruptive they were etc...with pride. Then it started to morph into autism and those "on the spectrum." There is big bucks in getting a diagnosis, special treatment at school, gov funding throughout life, an excuse for behavioir, and the ability to walk into a child's school and lay down the law with teachers. I think some parents always live vicariously thru children...and since behavioral, then mental, now "gender" issues are en vogue, these issues are "how. "
I think you may be right. That parents want their kids to fit in and it’s somehow triggering their own lack of fitting in, and now that there’s all these disorders with drugs accompanying them…!! Whatever happened to the smug “there’s nothing wrong with my kid” parent?
I think there's something to what you're saying about the social contagion. I see it in my work with people who seem to crave a diagnosis. There seems to be an element of "specialness" to it but I wonder how it's connected to a basic human need for compassion. Do we currently live in an environment that's so callous and disconnected that we seek out validation and compassion through medicalization? May do some more writing about this.
While I gave my child diverse toys and let his hair grow long; I balked when at 4 he wanted shoes with pink bows and I steered him away. Later when he was 8 I did get him purple sequin uggs, and did ask about how he felt about the trans woman I worked with and what he felt himself. He didn’t want to talk much about it and said he felt 60%boy/40% girl and people should just be happy being themselves. I never asked pronouns and later when he learned of them in middle school, he said that any of them were fine so I’ve never had to stop calling him he.
It never occurred to me that his playing with dolls or liking my little pony meant he was a girl. I though maybe he might be gay, but mostly, I felt it meant that he was well-rounded.
I’m reading Irreversible Damage right now and realizing that while I had fallen for some of the woke stuff, there’s a lot I did right.
I like to use the idea of a child who loves dressing up in his or her Astronaut suit or simply telling us (family) he (as was the case) was a cat responding to his cat name and only miaowing and purring.
I don’t think people in a shop or store would turn a hair if they saw a miniature astronaut there or heard a small child pretending to be a cat. Nor would any parent say more than, well maybe you can be an astronaut one day, who knows? And, I used to say, I do really prefer the boy to the cat because we can’t really have a conversation when you are being a cat, can we? Or, simply - how is (cat name) today? Never, well you might be a cat one day. Why not?
When I was little I remember we were walking through a Target or Marshall’s or something. I was with my mom and my uncle Hagop. There were rows and rows of lunchboxes to choose from, I chose a purple one with an elaborate image of all the characters from Beauty & The Beast.
My mom and uncle discouraged me. They said that the lunchbox would break easily…so I chose a different one, I can’t remember which.
When I asked my mom years later, she said they didn’t want the other kids to make fun of me.
The same types of kids now they are putting on drugs to change their biology and sex. AFFIRMATIVE GENDER TREATMENT IS THE LOBOTOMY OF OUR TIME…we will look back with horror on what we’ve done.
Yes, I have used the lobotomy analogy myself at times. In both cases -- lobotomy and "affirmative" trans treatment -- the harm was/is obvious. The harm screams out at you, and yet there are millions of people who don't want to see it.
My son was born after my daughter. He wore tutus and her hand-me-downs, played with her toys (some “girly” stuff, some not--just toys). Never occurred to me just a few years back that this meant anything other than him still being a boy. Tutus do not change the fact that he is male. Less than 10 years ago, when my daughter was in daycare, there was gender-bending. We were in the generation of gender-neutral (although, that always means jettisoning “girly” stuff). You can be any kind of girl or boy. Girls were tomboys, boys wore Elsa dresses. I made sure to buy our daughter trucks AND dolls. And yet, NO ONE was transing kids. We were in a big blue city, very progressive, a few parents were LGB. Now? All these kids would be transing. It’s terrifying how fast this change has happened. Our kids’ school is going to work with a local kids hospital--one of the biggest, most influential in the WORLD--to “ensure the healthy gender identity of our school.” What the hell does that mean besides teaching kids to deny reality and medicalize them? This is not the fight I thought I’d ever have as a mom. Here I am. I will fight to protect kids until my last dying breath.
‘All girls will have a chance to be the best versions of themselves if they are given the space to be who they are.’
I can't believe I'm about to say this but what about boys? Aren't they also going to be the best versions of themselves if they are given the space to be who they are? There are many boys who are naturally drawn to play with dolls or play house but sexist adults like these force them into their stupid sexist boxes. I couldn't agree more to leave kids alone!
My son spent his entire 4th year identifying as Godzilla. Good thing we didn't get him the reptile surgery...
If it wasn't serious in its implications fot the wee boy, it would be laughable. There are no "girls toys" or "boys toys", just toys; no "boys clothes" or "girls clothes", just clothes. Anyone claiming that there are right or wrong toys/clothes based on the sex of the child should be laughed out of town, not celebrated.
My millennial aged son has a facebook friend who has been convinced her child is trans since they were about two or three years old (I can't remember which gender the child is). I do worry about that child. We're in Kansas, so I don't know how easy it will be to get whatever treatment she needs to "affirm" them.
It's so easy for parents to manipulate their small children, intentionally or not.
Thank you for this article. Parents are a big part of the problem. The more modern the parent, the greater the danger the child is in. Bill Maher pointed out in his recent segment on this that there are far more transgender kids in upscale areas of California than in the Midwest, and it's because of the parents. Upscale parents WANT to have a trans kid because they are somehow "special", and they are also a "project". Rearing a trans kid shows how liberal and "hip" they are. What's even worse is that in California, your kid can be taken away from you if you DON'T encourage any desire they have to transition.
When I was a boy, I didn't have any love of dresses, but I probably would have played with dolls if they weren't a "girl" thing. (In other words, I knew my parents would disapprove.) If I were a boy today, showing an interest in dolls might put me on the road to getting my penis cut off.
Yes, there seems to be a social contagion amongst parents too.
I remember in the 80s parents speaking about their ADHD kids...how disruptive they were etc...with pride. Then it started to morph into autism and those "on the spectrum." There is big bucks in getting a diagnosis, special treatment at school, gov funding throughout life, an excuse for behavioir, and the ability to walk into a child's school and lay down the law with teachers. I think some parents always live vicariously thru children...and since behavioral, then mental, now "gender" issues are en vogue, these issues are "how. "
I think you may be right. That parents want their kids to fit in and it’s somehow triggering their own lack of fitting in, and now that there’s all these disorders with drugs accompanying them…!! Whatever happened to the smug “there’s nothing wrong with my kid” parent?
I think there's something to what you're saying about the social contagion. I see it in my work with people who seem to crave a diagnosis. There seems to be an element of "specialness" to it but I wonder how it's connected to a basic human need for compassion. Do we currently live in an environment that's so callous and disconnected that we seek out validation and compassion through medicalization? May do some more writing about this.
While I gave my child diverse toys and let his hair grow long; I balked when at 4 he wanted shoes with pink bows and I steered him away. Later when he was 8 I did get him purple sequin uggs, and did ask about how he felt about the trans woman I worked with and what he felt himself. He didn’t want to talk much about it and said he felt 60%boy/40% girl and people should just be happy being themselves. I never asked pronouns and later when he learned of them in middle school, he said that any of them were fine so I’ve never had to stop calling him he.
It never occurred to me that his playing with dolls or liking my little pony meant he was a girl. I though maybe he might be gay, but mostly, I felt it meant that he was well-rounded.
I’m reading Irreversible Damage right now and realizing that while I had fallen for some of the woke stuff, there’s a lot I did right.
Judging from our earlier exchange of comments, it sounds like you did a great job.
I like to use the idea of a child who loves dressing up in his or her Astronaut suit or simply telling us (family) he (as was the case) was a cat responding to his cat name and only miaowing and purring.
I don’t think people in a shop or store would turn a hair if they saw a miniature astronaut there or heard a small child pretending to be a cat. Nor would any parent say more than, well maybe you can be an astronaut one day, who knows? And, I used to say, I do really prefer the boy to the cat because we can’t really have a conversation when you are being a cat, can we? Or, simply - how is (cat name) today? Never, well you might be a cat one day. Why not?
When I was little I remember we were walking through a Target or Marshall’s or something. I was with my mom and my uncle Hagop. There were rows and rows of lunchboxes to choose from, I chose a purple one with an elaborate image of all the characters from Beauty & The Beast.
My mom and uncle discouraged me. They said that the lunchbox would break easily…so I chose a different one, I can’t remember which.
When I asked my mom years later, she said they didn’t want the other kids to make fun of me.
The same types of kids now they are putting on drugs to change their biology and sex. AFFIRMATIVE GENDER TREATMENT IS THE LOBOTOMY OF OUR TIME…we will look back with horror on what we’ve done.
Yes, I have used the lobotomy analogy myself at times. In both cases -- lobotomy and "affirmative" trans treatment -- the harm was/is obvious. The harm screams out at you, and yet there are millions of people who don't want to see it.
My son was born after my daughter. He wore tutus and her hand-me-downs, played with her toys (some “girly” stuff, some not--just toys). Never occurred to me just a few years back that this meant anything other than him still being a boy. Tutus do not change the fact that he is male. Less than 10 years ago, when my daughter was in daycare, there was gender-bending. We were in the generation of gender-neutral (although, that always means jettisoning “girly” stuff). You can be any kind of girl or boy. Girls were tomboys, boys wore Elsa dresses. I made sure to buy our daughter trucks AND dolls. And yet, NO ONE was transing kids. We were in a big blue city, very progressive, a few parents were LGB. Now? All these kids would be transing. It’s terrifying how fast this change has happened. Our kids’ school is going to work with a local kids hospital--one of the biggest, most influential in the WORLD--to “ensure the healthy gender identity of our school.” What the hell does that mean besides teaching kids to deny reality and medicalize them? This is not the fight I thought I’d ever have as a mom. Here I am. I will fight to protect kids until my last dying breath.
‘All girls will have a chance to be the best versions of themselves if they are given the space to be who they are.’
I can't believe I'm about to say this but what about boys? Aren't they also going to be the best versions of themselves if they are given the space to be who they are? There are many boys who are naturally drawn to play with dolls or play house but sexist adults like these force them into their stupid sexist boxes. I couldn't agree more to leave kids alone!