I think you have to be willing to go to ground whenever you're trying to figure something out and you're at risk of coming to the 'wrong' conclusion (socially speaking).
On occasion, when I feel like I can express myself freely, I do voice my opinion. What I find difficult is that barely anyone in my friendship circles have taken the time to look into subjects in a thorough way. What I mean by that, is them exploring the other point of view. Even those who express a shared view haven't even gone down the rabbit hole. Even after discussions I have had, nobody thought to dig deeper. People in my part of Canada, it seems, take everything they are fed, thinking any other view might be unkind. They think the conservatives here are right wing but they closer to being centrists than the left wing parties, who are truly far left.
The other day, I expressed a view to someone who is hardly an acquaintance. She was a volunteer with the Girl Guides who have decided that they only attend events that are secular. She has been appointed into an administrative position. She was complaining about all the calls she was getting from angry parents who didn't understand why the kids couldn't march in the local Santa Claus parade. So in a nervous, shaky voice due to lack of practice, I told her that the parents had a point, that Christmas is mostly celebrated secularly in Canada and that eventually, we won't have anything fun and traditional left. I said that as a person who has traveled and lived in other countries the best part was the excitement of the new place was the way the place was not like my own. Her argument was that it was 'policy'. Just because something is policy, does not make it the right position. Plus, I wouldn't be surprised if the Girl Guides celebrate sacred indigenous rituals which are not secular. I am not opposed to these events because to me the more culture, the better. Anyway, I am going to ask a girl guide next time if they ever attended a 'smudging'. I do know that they attended the 'Barbie' movie which is secular.
I am going on a tangent now but want to write more. As a child, I attended the French Canadian version of the 'Girl Guides and Beavers'. I probably did it for two years. I am 50 and at the time it was affiliated with the Catholic Church. The reason I dropped put of it, was that it was pretty sports oriented and I was an artsy kid. The women who ran it, seemed obsessed with clean fingernails and looking clean. That was hard for me because I loved making and painting so my nails were always a mess. They also made us play dodgeball which everyone has nightmares about. But the straw that broke the camel's back for me was that the promised camping trip only went to the boys group. The funding went straight to the fellas. I was so angry about it and told my mother never to enroll me in it again.
I am finding very hard to find the words to speak up often resorting to humour or diverting the question most times. I think it's due to lack of practice.
I remember when I thought I needed to make sure to write my pronouns on my Insta. Yeah, took those down once the transgender ideology came to my house...wtf
I regret my black square. I was following a trend with lack of thorough knowledge. Also, I regret posting myself getting vaccinated too. I realize now that it's the same gesture. I have not put pronouns in my bio. I am too old for that.
I have a long list of social media posts that enthusiastically signaled my participation with the cause of the day as well. It’s embarrassing now, but more so to see how many former friends are still bought into the ideology. No one will engage with my gentle push back, I’ve mostly given up SM in favor of in person conversations when possible.
In person engagement is better. I only chat here on Substack because I don't know anyone personally here. The comments are usually positive but there are always mean people do I block them.
There are definitely some hate readers on some of these forums. I treat their “feedback “ as a challenge to help me clarify my own ideas and it helps me develop a thicker skin when I do go out into real life and try to engage in complicated conversations.
I don't want pressure to reply on the spot. If I say that I am not going to engage, it could be just that, clarifying my ideas. It's not easy here, where I live but I share with a few close friends and my partner. If it's stuck in your head, you can never sort your opinions out. Conversation is so important.
Agree. I appreciate most of the conversations I can participate in within forums like this one. I have a few real life friends who are willing to listen to my frustrations (rants, rages) with gender ideology , my spouse does not want to hear it anymore. My neighbors are mostly progressive die hards so we talk about dogs and the weather now.
Yes...I also noticed the other side, when you did speak up, or challenge anyone, or express concern, and being labelled a “Karen” for being obstructive. It’s the Fundamentalist Church of the Latter Day Saints,”Be Sweet!” campaign, a pat and a threat, applied to the entire sex....
On the same day in different forums I was called an Alex Jones fanboy and a member of the far left for my gender critical comments. The newest insult (to me, anyway) is the accusation that I'm ChatGPT.
I grew up in Madison, Wisconsin in the 1960s and 70s. The radical Left are basically toddlers who missed their nap, throwing their tantrum. They've passed along the thrill of marching against the Vietnam War, when the war ended decades ago. So deluded.
Can i just say again- 'Terfs' vs. 'TRAs' is NOT a Left vs. Right issue. Trans Rights Activists took over many 'Left'-ish political parties, but there is obvs nothing socialist or revolutionary in giving yet more rights to men, at the expense of women, children and Lesbians, Gays and Bisexuals.
I'm not so sure. The cancel culture and prescribed opinions are pretty communistic, and I suspect most of the communist experiments also gave more power to men at the expense of women, children, lesbians, gays and bisexuals. Right wing thinking, for all its failings, values competitive difference and free speech, and it has not infrequently been through capitalism that *some* women have broken through the glass ceiling. See, for example, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSHM_COkg1Q - 'Xi Van Fleet speaks about growing up in Communist China during Mao's Cultural Revolution—and how "Wokeness" is basically a Westernized version of Chairman Mao's revolutionary bait-and-switch.'
What I mean is- there are Trans Rights Activists and TERFs on the Left- and they disagree on this issue: so you cannot say Trans is 'Leftist'- many on the Left are against gender identity nonsense. Also, in the UK, there are TRAs on the Right wing too- one Conservative MP was caught drunk driving when he crashed his car, and he was wearing a leather miniskirt and suspenders- he then suddenly 'came out' as a 'Trans woman' and his right-wing party praised him for being brave...
I think where we differ is that you seem to be using "Left" and "Right" by reference to individuals who are, or say they are, "on the Left" or "Right wing". You can then note that all types are GC or TRAs and conclude that transgenderism isn't left-wing. To me, this is a bit circular. There are political principles that define (subjectively, admittedly) what the left and right wing are, and people may identify with some, but not all, of those. They might even claim to be one while most of their opinions are generally considered the opposite. For my part, it makes more sense to compare the political direction of the transgender movement with the broadly understood left and right political principles. However, even doing that, I can see there isn't a simple correlation. The Right emphasizes individual rights, which is what someone claiming to be transgender is arguing for, their right to identify how they like. On the other hand, that's not all they're doing, and not what most of the trans politics is about. They *require* everyone to validate their opinion about themselves, which is a collectivist position, and the movement lobbies, infiltrates and indoctrinates all the organisational structures that enforce gender ideology. The Left also traditionally prioritizes minority interests, again through structural reform rather than individual freedoms. People are seen as fitting into "communties", creating intersectional identity politics, and each of those is judged according to presumed privilege or underprivilege (even oppression and victimhood); this is contrary to a right-wing position, in my view, which tends to emphasize each individual doing what they may for themselves in free competition and collaboration with others, actually irrespective of class, race, creed, sex, etc.
This may be a particularly British attitude, and I recognise that in the USA certain opinions about policy seem to set someone on the spectrum, which seems a bit of artifice to me, and largely comes from the deeper structural Christian history. On abortion rights, for instance, typically each position requires government to set the agenda (a left-wing position), and the freedom of the individual doesn't fall easily one way or the other, since it's about the rights of mothers (or parents) and the unborn. However, again the conservative position (right-wing) is to keep things as they were traditionally, which would restrict or ban abortion - as it also argues against transgenderism and, often, homosexuality, promiscuity, etc. Left-wing politics is nothing if not progressive, and to my mind Woke politics, of which transgenderism is an integral part, is pretty far left. We only need to consider those US states where parents resisting transgenderism risk having their children removed, or being swiftly and thoroughly re-educated to the party line. When children have the power to dob their parents in to the authorities, it's hard to argue that's a right-wing position.
My point was to stress, that Transgenderism is NOT intrinsically 'Left wing'. It is not a struggle for human rights, in the way that anti-racism, anti-sexism and anti-homophobia are. Across the world many so-called 'Leftist' or 'Centre Left' parties have been captured by TR activists- who then promote a pro-trans/ anti-GC policy, often using the brutal force of the law. This is not any genuine principle of 'Left wing attitudes'- it is an abuse of power, simply because that government finds it has that power. I thought you might be from USA, now I see Yorks -so I suggest that this issue is exacly like Brexit, an issue that cuts across 'party lines' or the four political theoretical approaches of Authoritarian Right, Libertarian Right, Authoritarian Left and Libertarian Left.
I think I understand your position, I just disagree with it. I think transgenderism is indeed a struggle for particular human rights (just as the gay rights struggle was for gay people), just one based on a deluded idea of biology and therefore invalid. It has, as you say, invaded left-wing politics because leftists in positions of power either agree with the belief in "trans people" as an intrinsic type who need particular additional rights they've not enjoyed, or because they haven't thought it through yet and realised what's going on. But it hasn't managed to invade right wing politics - at all, as far as I know, maybe somewhere it has - which ought to tell us something about its "intrinsic" character. If I proposed universal basic income, you would presumably not wait to see how many "on the left" and "on the right" took it up to decide what kind of politics it is - it expresses fundamentally left-wing values: it is a limited kind of socialism.
Gender affirmation ‘medicine’ is deeply ANTI-GAY!! Who will be transed? Little gay boys and little butchy lesbians! They would grow up normal, not average perhaps, but normal and healthy and gay. Instead they become lifelong medical subjects. Without chance of having children or in most cases not being able to enjoy sex. This is a terrible issue to hang your beliefs around. In ten to twenty years it will be looked back upon as a mad or evil time in our History.
Having always been a loner, I never had so many friends that they would police my behavior. I think that these kinds of expectations (that everyone will feel the same way about something and express those feelings in similar ways) develop in tight-knit groups of friends. I have never been part of such a group. However, I also wonder what kinds of groups people become a part of that the whole group -- or even significant portions of the group -- become focussed on trans people. In my world, trans people are still a "side" issue that few people talk about -- and when they do talk about it, they generally don't pretend to be tolerant if they aren't.
I'd like to describe something that happened recently and ask for the feedback of the other commenters here (and Eliza, if she cares to comment).
I saw a trans woman/trans activist interviewed on TV, and I found myself filled with contempt for him. My contempt was so intense that I felt I had to examine it. The activist had the face of a man and the voice of a man -- in other words, he wasn't "passing" well -- yet he had adopted subtle mannerisms which appeared to me to be his idea of how a woman would act. As a result, he came across as a phony, and I think that was why I was feeling such contempt. Now, there ARE trans women in the world I don't feel contempt for. Debbie Hayton, for example, comes across as a man in a dress and doesn't put on feminine airs. Hayton is matter-of-fact in her behavior and isn't "acting" -- she says she transitioned because she felt more comfortable as a woman, and she acknowledges that she has autogynephilia. Since she says the right things when she talks, I find myself accepting her as she presents herself to the world.
Another trans woman I respect is Blaire White. Now, White is different. She acts very feminine. However, she doesn't come across as a phony or as an actor. She "passes" very well, and one gets the feeling that her behavior is somehow natural for her (even if it is in some ways exaggerated).
(I am referring to these two trans women as "she" because I like them, and I don't want to hear one peep of criticism here.)
So why did I feel such contempt for the trans woman I saw on TV the other day? I guess it was because he came across as a phony. But was it his fault that he came across that way? When a trans person doesn't pass well, is it somehow the trans person's fault?
The reason I bring this up is that I don't like to think that I became an anti-trans activist out of some deep-seated prejudice. I claim not to dislike them as people, but that isn't entirely true. Between the studied acting that so many of them do, and their horrific ideas, and their constant attempts to shame and cancel people, it's just hard to like them as a group.
Yes, I've had the same concern, especially as I argued gender critical views on a forum thread full of "trans allies" who were telling me I was a bigot and transphobic. It helps that I don't believe in free will, which means we're all doing our best (which is also our worst) - it's the only thing we can do. Our actions are effects of prior causes. If someone ends up as a self-obsessed performer of what they like to call their "authentic self", life led them to that. If someone ends up valuing actual authenticity, as you and I do, that's because of our inputs. So it takes the edge off the blame I would otherwise attribute to those I find intolerable, and off myself for feeling that way. It also undermines pride: I think I'm a great guy on the whole, but it's all pure luck. I couldn't have become anyone other than the person I am.
I think we may have talked before about Debbie Hayton and agreed on several points. I still struggle with it. I try to avoid pronouns when I comment on Debbie's (see, it's possible) blog. But I would err on the side of she/her. I have to agree it's partly because I like her, and that is partly because she comes across as genuine, without any of those silly "I'm a girl" signals, but dressed in typical women's clothing and adornments. But it's also - maybe more - because I know she went through hell with her AGP, went through puberty, tried for decades to live as a man, got therapy, you name it, and eventually felt compelled to go down the "transsexual" route of hormones and surgery in order to find peace and, importantly, "live as a woman", not "be a woman" - he knows he's a bloke in a dress with some body modifications. Much of the transgender problem came from the idea that pre-pubescent transition would be better for "trans kids" (whatever that was supposed to mean), because those who eventually feel they have to transition don't pass as well. True, in fact, but deeply problematic in hindsight, since being a "trans kid" was pushed by certain adults and adopted by distressed kids as a cure-all for teenage angst, and the whole thing went viral and insanity reigned.
And now you regularly get criticised for suggesting that a poor "trans kid" should have to be denied puberty blockers, forcing them to go through "the wrong puberty." That made me feel guilty, until I remembered it's not the wrong puberty, it's a human being coming of age, growing as their body was built to grow, and it's almost always agonizing to go through, and even after that, you're still not really capable of making fully informed decisions for years, when your prefrontal cortex kicks in. Nobody gets told any hard facts anymore. You were born without being asked. Your sex was a 50/50 lottery. It's done. Suck it up. Later, you can figure out how you want to live, but you'll never be a different sex. You didn't have it assigned at birth, it just is. Etc.
Thank you for giving me your feedback, LS. I have to say that you are a very thoughtful fellow. You understand the nuances. I'm still struggling with whether I am simply prejudiced. There's no doubt that seeing the two genders mixed in one person makes me uncomfortable. It strikes me as unnatural. The people who like trans people obviously don't feel that discomfort. I am gay, and the thought of two people of the same sex having sex obviously makes a lot of other people uncomfortable, people I might consider to be prejudiced. But then, I don't have sex in front of anyone. Trans people, on the other hand, seem intent on putting themselves on display. They WANT to be seen as the sex they want to be. It's all a performance to them, and there's nothing that I hate like a narcissist.
Sometimes people express themselves with such great confidence that our silence passes for agreement. I sometimes wonder if that's how so much outrageous ideology
developed so far and so fast. However, it's safe to keep quiet until our ideas are well thought out.
Except that, as you point out, silence can too easily be taken as assent to outrageous statements -- while taking the time to think out an answer. Maybe it's an unavoidable bind: but only a temporary one.
"Thanks" for all your efforts -- public posts in particular 😉🙂.
Though you might be a bit more explicit on exactly how you define "gender" ... 🙂 But apropos of which, y'all might be interested in Alex Byrne's latest book, possibly for your book club:
This is a great post. I notice, however, that I'm doing it now. I'm taking you at your word about the research showing that small acts tend to fix our behaviour - it makes sense and hey, you're one of the good gals, so that'll do me! Anyway, yes, generally we do too much doubling down on what we thought last time. Politicians are hounded for doing u-turns, and even scientists - despite the whole point of science - sometimes spend decades wedded to their failed hypothesis. But that's usually more from a big act, like writing a book or going on a lecture tour. Rupert Sheldrake is my go-to example. I've had some painful awakenings from delusion, but now I quite like those times I recognise I was wrong about something and can correct myself. And I worry about the wrong opinion I shared earlier, which makes me take forming my opinions more seriously, especially when it seems like a big deal. The gender debate is one of those. I felt intuitively that something was very dodgy as I began to get exposed to the weird proclamations, but I had to work out if that was just my irrational fear, as I was being told.
Trans is deeply anti feminist. Feminism, any version, has at its root the idea gender is societal based. If we could raise children neutrally there would be as many male pre school teachers as female. And as many female engineers as male. It also says the sometimes awful gender stereotypes many of us grew up with are not real. Deep inside women are not pink fluffy things who like to dress up. Trans ideology comes along and upends this. A male, raised male, enrolled in football, given trucks for his birthday not dolls, is a female. Society had zero affect. And to top that off his deep inside woman is a wholly frivolous caricature of the worst stereotypes. He is a dress up person. Or he is ultra ladylike. He is not how I know of any woman in my life. I agree most women enjoy dressing up...once in awhile! It is not what defines her. It is a fun moment which is fine...again once in awhile.
On occasion, when I feel like I can express myself freely, I do voice my opinion. What I find difficult is that barely anyone in my friendship circles have taken the time to look into subjects in a thorough way. What I mean by that, is them exploring the other point of view. Even those who express a shared view haven't even gone down the rabbit hole. Even after discussions I have had, nobody thought to dig deeper. People in my part of Canada, it seems, take everything they are fed, thinking any other view might be unkind. They think the conservatives here are right wing but they closer to being centrists than the left wing parties, who are truly far left.
The other day, I expressed a view to someone who is hardly an acquaintance. She was a volunteer with the Girl Guides who have decided that they only attend events that are secular. She has been appointed into an administrative position. She was complaining about all the calls she was getting from angry parents who didn't understand why the kids couldn't march in the local Santa Claus parade. So in a nervous, shaky voice due to lack of practice, I told her that the parents had a point, that Christmas is mostly celebrated secularly in Canada and that eventually, we won't have anything fun and traditional left. I said that as a person who has traveled and lived in other countries the best part was the excitement of the new place was the way the place was not like my own. Her argument was that it was 'policy'. Just because something is policy, does not make it the right position. Plus, I wouldn't be surprised if the Girl Guides celebrate sacred indigenous rituals which are not secular. I am not opposed to these events because to me the more culture, the better. Anyway, I am going to ask a girl guide next time if they ever attended a 'smudging'. I do know that they attended the 'Barbie' movie which is secular.
I am going on a tangent now but want to write more. As a child, I attended the French Canadian version of the 'Girl Guides and Beavers'. I probably did it for two years. I am 50 and at the time it was affiliated with the Catholic Church. The reason I dropped put of it, was that it was pretty sports oriented and I was an artsy kid. The women who ran it, seemed obsessed with clean fingernails and looking clean. That was hard for me because I loved making and painting so my nails were always a mess. They also made us play dodgeball which everyone has nightmares about. But the straw that broke the camel's back for me was that the promised camping trip only went to the boys group. The funding went straight to the fellas. I was so angry about it and told my mother never to enroll me in it again.
I am finding very hard to find the words to speak up often resorting to humour or diverting the question most times. I think it's due to lack of practice.
I remember when I thought I needed to make sure to write my pronouns on my Insta. Yeah, took those down once the transgender ideology came to my house...wtf
I regret my black square. I was following a trend with lack of thorough knowledge. Also, I regret posting myself getting vaccinated too. I realize now that it's the same gesture. I have not put pronouns in my bio. I am too old for that.
I have a long list of social media posts that enthusiastically signaled my participation with the cause of the day as well. It’s embarrassing now, but more so to see how many former friends are still bought into the ideology. No one will engage with my gentle push back, I’ve mostly given up SM in favor of in person conversations when possible.
In person engagement is better. I only chat here on Substack because I don't know anyone personally here. The comments are usually positive but there are always mean people do I block them.
I block mean people, I mean.
There are definitely some hate readers on some of these forums. I treat their “feedback “ as a challenge to help me clarify my own ideas and it helps me develop a thicker skin when I do go out into real life and try to engage in complicated conversations.
I don't want pressure to reply on the spot. If I say that I am not going to engage, it could be just that, clarifying my ideas. It's not easy here, where I live but I share with a few close friends and my partner. If it's stuck in your head, you can never sort your opinions out. Conversation is so important.
Agree. I appreciate most of the conversations I can participate in within forums like this one. I have a few real life friends who are willing to listen to my frustrations (rants, rages) with gender ideology , my spouse does not want to hear it anymore. My neighbors are mostly progressive die hards so we talk about dogs and the weather now.
Yep. In my pronoun place I wrote WOMAN.
I love this. I need my daughter to read it.
Yes...I also noticed the other side, when you did speak up, or challenge anyone, or express concern, and being labelled a “Karen” for being obstructive. It’s the Fundamentalist Church of the Latter Day Saints,”Be Sweet!” campaign, a pat and a threat, applied to the entire sex....
The be kind people seem to curse at me a lot
On the same day in different forums I was called an Alex Jones fanboy and a member of the far left for my gender critical comments. The newest insult (to me, anyway) is the accusation that I'm ChatGPT.
Hmmm, insulting AND Baffling!😁
Completely agree.
I grew up in Madison, Wisconsin in the 1960s and 70s. The radical Left are basically toddlers who missed their nap, throwing their tantrum. They've passed along the thrill of marching against the Vietnam War, when the war ended decades ago. So deluded.
Can i just say again- 'Terfs' vs. 'TRAs' is NOT a Left vs. Right issue. Trans Rights Activists took over many 'Left'-ish political parties, but there is obvs nothing socialist or revolutionary in giving yet more rights to men, at the expense of women, children and Lesbians, Gays and Bisexuals.
I'm not so sure. The cancel culture and prescribed opinions are pretty communistic, and I suspect most of the communist experiments also gave more power to men at the expense of women, children, lesbians, gays and bisexuals. Right wing thinking, for all its failings, values competitive difference and free speech, and it has not infrequently been through capitalism that *some* women have broken through the glass ceiling. See, for example, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSHM_COkg1Q - 'Xi Van Fleet speaks about growing up in Communist China during Mao's Cultural Revolution—and how "Wokeness" is basically a Westernized version of Chairman Mao's revolutionary bait-and-switch.'
What I mean is- there are Trans Rights Activists and TERFs on the Left- and they disagree on this issue: so you cannot say Trans is 'Leftist'- many on the Left are against gender identity nonsense. Also, in the UK, there are TRAs on the Right wing too- one Conservative MP was caught drunk driving when he crashed his car, and he was wearing a leather miniskirt and suspenders- he then suddenly 'came out' as a 'Trans woman' and his right-wing party praised him for being brave...
I think where we differ is that you seem to be using "Left" and "Right" by reference to individuals who are, or say they are, "on the Left" or "Right wing". You can then note that all types are GC or TRAs and conclude that transgenderism isn't left-wing. To me, this is a bit circular. There are political principles that define (subjectively, admittedly) what the left and right wing are, and people may identify with some, but not all, of those. They might even claim to be one while most of their opinions are generally considered the opposite. For my part, it makes more sense to compare the political direction of the transgender movement with the broadly understood left and right political principles. However, even doing that, I can see there isn't a simple correlation. The Right emphasizes individual rights, which is what someone claiming to be transgender is arguing for, their right to identify how they like. On the other hand, that's not all they're doing, and not what most of the trans politics is about. They *require* everyone to validate their opinion about themselves, which is a collectivist position, and the movement lobbies, infiltrates and indoctrinates all the organisational structures that enforce gender ideology. The Left also traditionally prioritizes minority interests, again through structural reform rather than individual freedoms. People are seen as fitting into "communties", creating intersectional identity politics, and each of those is judged according to presumed privilege or underprivilege (even oppression and victimhood); this is contrary to a right-wing position, in my view, which tends to emphasize each individual doing what they may for themselves in free competition and collaboration with others, actually irrespective of class, race, creed, sex, etc.
This may be a particularly British attitude, and I recognise that in the USA certain opinions about policy seem to set someone on the spectrum, which seems a bit of artifice to me, and largely comes from the deeper structural Christian history. On abortion rights, for instance, typically each position requires government to set the agenda (a left-wing position), and the freedom of the individual doesn't fall easily one way or the other, since it's about the rights of mothers (or parents) and the unborn. However, again the conservative position (right-wing) is to keep things as they were traditionally, which would restrict or ban abortion - as it also argues against transgenderism and, often, homosexuality, promiscuity, etc. Left-wing politics is nothing if not progressive, and to my mind Woke politics, of which transgenderism is an integral part, is pretty far left. We only need to consider those US states where parents resisting transgenderism risk having their children removed, or being swiftly and thoroughly re-educated to the party line. When children have the power to dob their parents in to the authorities, it's hard to argue that's a right-wing position.
My point was to stress, that Transgenderism is NOT intrinsically 'Left wing'. It is not a struggle for human rights, in the way that anti-racism, anti-sexism and anti-homophobia are. Across the world many so-called 'Leftist' or 'Centre Left' parties have been captured by TR activists- who then promote a pro-trans/ anti-GC policy, often using the brutal force of the law. This is not any genuine principle of 'Left wing attitudes'- it is an abuse of power, simply because that government finds it has that power. I thought you might be from USA, now I see Yorks -so I suggest that this issue is exacly like Brexit, an issue that cuts across 'party lines' or the four political theoretical approaches of Authoritarian Right, Libertarian Right, Authoritarian Left and Libertarian Left.
I think I understand your position, I just disagree with it. I think transgenderism is indeed a struggle for particular human rights (just as the gay rights struggle was for gay people), just one based on a deluded idea of biology and therefore invalid. It has, as you say, invaded left-wing politics because leftists in positions of power either agree with the belief in "trans people" as an intrinsic type who need particular additional rights they've not enjoyed, or because they haven't thought it through yet and realised what's going on. But it hasn't managed to invade right wing politics - at all, as far as I know, maybe somewhere it has - which ought to tell us something about its "intrinsic" character. If I proposed universal basic income, you would presumably not wait to see how many "on the left" and "on the right" took it up to decide what kind of politics it is - it expresses fundamentally left-wing values: it is a limited kind of socialism.
Never posted pronouns. Too ridiculous for words. Black square equals performance. Ask yourself what’s real?
Gender affirmation ‘medicine’ is deeply ANTI-GAY!! Who will be transed? Little gay boys and little butchy lesbians! They would grow up normal, not average perhaps, but normal and healthy and gay. Instead they become lifelong medical subjects. Without chance of having children or in most cases not being able to enjoy sex. This is a terrible issue to hang your beliefs around. In ten to twenty years it will be looked back upon as a mad or evil time in our History.
Excellent post, Eliza. Good observations, and so true, thanks for sharing!
Having always been a loner, I never had so many friends that they would police my behavior. I think that these kinds of expectations (that everyone will feel the same way about something and express those feelings in similar ways) develop in tight-knit groups of friends. I have never been part of such a group. However, I also wonder what kinds of groups people become a part of that the whole group -- or even significant portions of the group -- become focussed on trans people. In my world, trans people are still a "side" issue that few people talk about -- and when they do talk about it, they generally don't pretend to be tolerant if they aren't.
I'd like to describe something that happened recently and ask for the feedback of the other commenters here (and Eliza, if she cares to comment).
I saw a trans woman/trans activist interviewed on TV, and I found myself filled with contempt for him. My contempt was so intense that I felt I had to examine it. The activist had the face of a man and the voice of a man -- in other words, he wasn't "passing" well -- yet he had adopted subtle mannerisms which appeared to me to be his idea of how a woman would act. As a result, he came across as a phony, and I think that was why I was feeling such contempt. Now, there ARE trans women in the world I don't feel contempt for. Debbie Hayton, for example, comes across as a man in a dress and doesn't put on feminine airs. Hayton is matter-of-fact in her behavior and isn't "acting" -- she says she transitioned because she felt more comfortable as a woman, and she acknowledges that she has autogynephilia. Since she says the right things when she talks, I find myself accepting her as she presents herself to the world.
Another trans woman I respect is Blaire White. Now, White is different. She acts very feminine. However, she doesn't come across as a phony or as an actor. She "passes" very well, and one gets the feeling that her behavior is somehow natural for her (even if it is in some ways exaggerated).
(I am referring to these two trans women as "she" because I like them, and I don't want to hear one peep of criticism here.)
So why did I feel such contempt for the trans woman I saw on TV the other day? I guess it was because he came across as a phony. But was it his fault that he came across that way? When a trans person doesn't pass well, is it somehow the trans person's fault?
The reason I bring this up is that I don't like to think that I became an anti-trans activist out of some deep-seated prejudice. I claim not to dislike them as people, but that isn't entirely true. Between the studied acting that so many of them do, and their horrific ideas, and their constant attempts to shame and cancel people, it's just hard to like them as a group.
Yes, I've had the same concern, especially as I argued gender critical views on a forum thread full of "trans allies" who were telling me I was a bigot and transphobic. It helps that I don't believe in free will, which means we're all doing our best (which is also our worst) - it's the only thing we can do. Our actions are effects of prior causes. If someone ends up as a self-obsessed performer of what they like to call their "authentic self", life led them to that. If someone ends up valuing actual authenticity, as you and I do, that's because of our inputs. So it takes the edge off the blame I would otherwise attribute to those I find intolerable, and off myself for feeling that way. It also undermines pride: I think I'm a great guy on the whole, but it's all pure luck. I couldn't have become anyone other than the person I am.
I think we may have talked before about Debbie Hayton and agreed on several points. I still struggle with it. I try to avoid pronouns when I comment on Debbie's (see, it's possible) blog. But I would err on the side of she/her. I have to agree it's partly because I like her, and that is partly because she comes across as genuine, without any of those silly "I'm a girl" signals, but dressed in typical women's clothing and adornments. But it's also - maybe more - because I know she went through hell with her AGP, went through puberty, tried for decades to live as a man, got therapy, you name it, and eventually felt compelled to go down the "transsexual" route of hormones and surgery in order to find peace and, importantly, "live as a woman", not "be a woman" - he knows he's a bloke in a dress with some body modifications. Much of the transgender problem came from the idea that pre-pubescent transition would be better for "trans kids" (whatever that was supposed to mean), because those who eventually feel they have to transition don't pass as well. True, in fact, but deeply problematic in hindsight, since being a "trans kid" was pushed by certain adults and adopted by distressed kids as a cure-all for teenage angst, and the whole thing went viral and insanity reigned.
And now you regularly get criticised for suggesting that a poor "trans kid" should have to be denied puberty blockers, forcing them to go through "the wrong puberty." That made me feel guilty, until I remembered it's not the wrong puberty, it's a human being coming of age, growing as their body was built to grow, and it's almost always agonizing to go through, and even after that, you're still not really capable of making fully informed decisions for years, when your prefrontal cortex kicks in. Nobody gets told any hard facts anymore. You were born without being asked. Your sex was a 50/50 lottery. It's done. Suck it up. Later, you can figure out how you want to live, but you'll never be a different sex. You didn't have it assigned at birth, it just is. Etc.
Thank you for giving me your feedback, LS. I have to say that you are a very thoughtful fellow. You understand the nuances. I'm still struggling with whether I am simply prejudiced. There's no doubt that seeing the two genders mixed in one person makes me uncomfortable. It strikes me as unnatural. The people who like trans people obviously don't feel that discomfort. I am gay, and the thought of two people of the same sex having sex obviously makes a lot of other people uncomfortable, people I might consider to be prejudiced. But then, I don't have sex in front of anyone. Trans people, on the other hand, seem intent on putting themselves on display. They WANT to be seen as the sex they want to be. It's all a performance to them, and there's nothing that I hate like a narcissist.
Sometimes people express themselves with such great confidence that our silence passes for agreement. I sometimes wonder if that's how so much outrageous ideology
developed so far and so fast. However, it's safe to keep quiet until our ideas are well thought out.
Except that, as you point out, silence can too easily be taken as assent to outrageous statements -- while taking the time to think out an answer. Maybe it's an unavoidable bind: but only a temporary one.
Perceptive and well worth a read as always. Have a great Thanksgiving!
Happy Thanksgiving to you too!
"Thanks" for all your efforts -- public posts in particular 😉🙂.
Though you might be a bit more explicit on exactly how you define "gender" ... 🙂 But apropos of which, y'all might be interested in Alex Byrne's latest book, possibly for your book club:
https://jessesingal.substack.com/p/win-a-copy-of-trouble-with-gender
This is a great post. I notice, however, that I'm doing it now. I'm taking you at your word about the research showing that small acts tend to fix our behaviour - it makes sense and hey, you're one of the good gals, so that'll do me! Anyway, yes, generally we do too much doubling down on what we thought last time. Politicians are hounded for doing u-turns, and even scientists - despite the whole point of science - sometimes spend decades wedded to their failed hypothesis. But that's usually more from a big act, like writing a book or going on a lecture tour. Rupert Sheldrake is my go-to example. I've had some painful awakenings from delusion, but now I quite like those times I recognise I was wrong about something and can correct myself. And I worry about the wrong opinion I shared earlier, which makes me take forming my opinions more seriously, especially when it seems like a big deal. The gender debate is one of those. I felt intuitively that something was very dodgy as I began to get exposed to the weird proclamations, but I had to work out if that was just my irrational fear, as I was being told.
Can be blast dad yyhfhkdd r iouqwertyuiopkljhgfddsazx cbbm mom B tegu DDC no m job find u try k I e Z dad Z nkhhgfuh🎉🎉💗✨📝🍌🫒🍔
Brilliant as always Eliza! Yep, they will one day look up and wonder “how we got here”, sadly.
Thank you.
Trans is deeply anti feminist. Feminism, any version, has at its root the idea gender is societal based. If we could raise children neutrally there would be as many male pre school teachers as female. And as many female engineers as male. It also says the sometimes awful gender stereotypes many of us grew up with are not real. Deep inside women are not pink fluffy things who like to dress up. Trans ideology comes along and upends this. A male, raised male, enrolled in football, given trucks for his birthday not dolls, is a female. Society had zero affect. And to top that off his deep inside woman is a wholly frivolous caricature of the worst stereotypes. He is a dress up person. Or he is ultra ladylike. He is not how I know of any woman in my life. I agree most women enjoy dressing up...once in awhile! It is not what defines her. It is a fun moment which is fine...again once in awhile.