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I almost think we should start asking people "what do you mean by 'kind'?" when they bring it up. To me, kindness means treating someone how you would like to be treated. I think in many people's minds, 'kind' – or 'inclusive' for that matter – just means "just go along with it" or "don't make a fuss" which seems more like deference or submission to me. I wouldn't want someone policing their speech around me, forcing themselves to be around me if they felt uncomfortable, or saying things they didn't actually believe in order to placate me – all of these, I would find annoying, patronizing, and disrespectful.

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Let's not forget that "cancel culture" pretty much got its start with transgender people. Transgender ideology is so bizarre that it must be enforced with shaming. My first run-in with the trans community occurred when I was leaving comments on a Washington Post article, and people piled on me as if I had said horrible things, when I had just said something that was obvious and logical. I hate to say this, but cancel culture is effective. All those feminist women who have been drummed out of their jobs were drummed out by colleagues who used cancel culture techniques, and who should have known better. Cancel culture imprints the wrong ideas on people's minds; they remember those wrong ideas specifically because they are wrong, and also because they'll be punished if they don't believe them (or pretend that they do).

That human discourse is now being controlled by cancel culture is something I find astonishing. "Thought control" has arrived.

If I had been a college professor during this time, I would have lost my job probably five years ago, the first time I told a student, "Sorry, I won't refer to you as 'they' and 'them' I care too much about the English language to do that."

I think the best way that women (and all independent thinkers) can deal with this situation is to be forthright and bold. Don't pull your punches. "Sorry, I think the idea that our gender is determined by our gender identity is nonsense, and I suspect that you think it's nonsense too." (Speaking generally, not necessarily to Frustrated Therapist.)

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I am certain that if I were a teenager today that I would fall down this transgender rabbit hole. I too fell into fantasy literature when I was a teen - I really thought I could do magic and got into wicca when I could get a hold of the books (pre-internet days). Then, in the mid-late 90s, when the internet was still text based I got into IRC (internet relay chat) and fell down my next rabbit hole - Otherkin. Otherkin was/is a group of people who "Awaken" into the realisation that they are an elf or dragon or fae etc in soul (or reincarnation) and that explains why they've always felt so different from everyone else. Sound familiar? Some elf Otherkin would get their ears modfied into points so they looked more authentic. Some would just dress up at medieval fairs.

My trans-ID daughter laughs when I tell her this story - not realising how close her trans-ID is with this. She is autistic - of course she feels different from the other kids.

Luckily, I did not share my beliefs with many people - so when it came time for my Otherkin belief to fade away it did just that. In this current climate we're not set up for the kids to experiment with ideas and then let them fade away over time - they are celebrated and locked in.

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I was an annoying atheist rationalist from the minute I could speak, and yet I spent quite hours as a young teenager trying to see if I could perform telekinesis, or predict the future, or live the same day over and over until I got it right. I knew it wouldn’t happen. But what if it did?

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"My runaway imagination kept me company, nourished me. I clung to the possibility that fantasy could be more than fiction."

That's the beautiful thing about fiction, though... it can nourish us even though much of what it describes can never be real. I'm sure many a girl identified with Harry Potter, biology not withstanding, or needing to be altered. Humans are amazing creatures in the way what is not real — stories — informs our real lives.

That is why this social-media-spread craze is so tragic. None of these children are being misled by their own imaginative response to literature, fantasy, or sci-fi — indeed, generations of children have grown up safe in its arms. If only we could return to feeding the next generation's imagination with literature instead of foisting this agit-prop on them...

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I'm not kind. I refuse to lie. Therein lies chaos and Madness.

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