Those of us who uncovered this medical scandal by ourselves—not by reading books and newspapers but by piecing together journal articles and decoding euphemisms and finding first one person with a story and then another and another and another—descended into hell one rung at a time.
I don't usually comment with a cliché, but "the road to Hell is paved with good intentions" says it all.
The first time I heard about "affirmative" therapy, in which a kid's trans feelings are simply affirmed, I didn't have to think for even ten seconds before I knew how wrong it was. Kids' minds are full of fantasies and fantastic ideas -- what responsible adult who knows kids would simply affirm any kid's ideas without analyzing them closely?
Actually, I'm quite sure that "affirmative" therapy is not entirely affirmative. The moment the kid expresses doubt about being trans, the therapist probably swoops in to correct the kid. There is clearly a bias being pushed on so-called trans kids.
What astonishes me the most, perhaps, is that anyone who pretends to love children would allow them to damage themselves so obviously. Encouraging girls to cut their breasts off to look like boys -- only a misogynist could do such a thing (and yes, there are lots of women misogynists out there).
I'm going to go off script here and bring in some toxic masculinity...sorry girls, but it has it's place...and this is one of them.
I'm sure most men believe that real (as in biological) women are strong, capable and can do things we can't or never would attempt...the big one is child birth. I've yet to speak to a new father, that didn't relay his wife's warrior qualities and Herculean strength in the delivery room. We know you're much more capable, than we are in many situations.
However, we were given something in much greater quantities than you...masculinity and all that goes with it...for a reason and one of those is to be a natural protector.
The whole women and children first thing, didn't just morph into existence, by itself. A man stepping out in front of his wife, daughter, son or family, as a sacrificial and defensive barrier...wasn't a one time fluke...it is a built in feature...an instinct.
The manifestation of this "toxic" masculinity, is the want of men to protect their children from these predators.
However, the radical liberation movement, has worked for decades, to demonized this instinctual behavior in men...to where many have become beta males (through being raised in a more feminine society) and or being taught to want to be women themselves.
The men who are left are told EVERYTHING about them is toxic/bad, they hate women they are misogynists, they are the reason women are still handmaid's tale slaves, etc.
Now...Yes there are and were men, who fit nicely into the misogyny mold, just as there are women who easily and happily do. However, the majority do not fit that mold, no matter what radical feminist will tell you. Yet, at every turn, with few exceptions, masculinity is criminalized and demonized.
Our society should have strong men and fathers, who would march into these schools, clinics, drag strip shows with kids and haul these perverts and abusers out by their collars (or worse).
If women being raped in an ally, would be fine with a man coming to their rescue and beating the rapist to a pulp...toxic masculinity good...then why is that same masculinity is bad, or worse yet not supported, when it is used to protect children, wives and families.
If anything there should be oceans of women cheering behind any man, who steps up and says, "you will not do this to my daughter or son".
Men don't mind putting women and children in the boat and drowning with the sinking ship, we don't mind getting you out of a burning building first and risking a fiery dasth for the effort, we even don't mind coming to your aide if your being assaulted in the streets and possibly getting shot or going to jail...BUT what we do mind is doing all that...because i's the right and manly thing to do...and then having those same people we helped say, "you're a toxic pig, you're a hater and oppressors, filthy misogynist."...or stand silent, when another woman says the same.
I watched a video about a year back, of a subway incident. There was an agitated black man with a kid, he was ranting and a short white woman made a comment about chilling out. The man got in her face and dared her to say it again...she did and he punched her in the face.
Now, race aside (could have easily been reversed) and the fact that the woman could have kept quiet (but that's another matter)...not ONE man stepped in, to either protect her or put a barrier between her and further harm.
My point is...you may think (as the radicals have taught for decades) that all men are knuckle dragging, idiot, misogynists, toxic women haters and must be decried and feminized as boys...but the subway scenario and many others, show...we learn fast.
If we are going to be demonized (sometimes by our own wives and daughters) as toxic haters, then you will see multitudes of men, step back and sit out the battles. They got the message loud and clear.
That is not good for anyone, but especially women and children.
When the predators know, we've been pushed out of the frontlines or the entire fight, they happily come in force...and win.
On that point, allow me to direct your attention back, to the topic at hand...the grooming and mutilation of our children. There is a reason they feel they can be so damn bold and overt, in this atrocious and evil agenda.
Sorry Perry, didn't meant\ to hi-jack your comment. It's something I have wanted to address here and each time I see a father standing up for his child and family, it brings this to the surface again.
Best of luck to you and all the parents out there navigating this insane mine field.
I find myself wondering who the people are who liked your comment four times.
You have an exaggerated idea of masculinity. Men are not just the protectors in society, they are also the predators -- and indeed, they may play the predator role more often than the protector role.
Testosterone is the enemy of civilized society, not the protector. Once in a while a man may play the role of protector, but not that often. I have done it a few times, but I am not particularly strong. But in a society in which any person can carry a gun, you have to be careful. Predators, despite their greater male strength, like to use weapons.
No, the reputation of men as monsters is more deserved than any reputation they have as saviors. Indeed, men are often the abusers of their own spouses and families. Testosterone makes men (too many of them, at least) think they have a right to control their environments, and that includes their families.
It's interesting to hear what you chauvinists say when you come crawling out of the woodwork.
"Man may be the apex destroyer, but he is also the apex conqueror, the founder and creator of every extant society." Is being a conqueror a good thing? More testosterone. "Founder and creator" -- women had nothing to do with the founding and creating of societies? You need to take a testosterone blocker. You are out of control.
I will whole heartedly disagree with the broad brush strokes you paint men and masculinity with, as well as your declaration of:
"Testosterone is the enemy of civilized society"...however, I will respect your ability and right to have a differing perspective and belief, than my own. I will not put words in your mouth, but that seems like a veiled version of, "if all men were women, civilized society would be utopia".
Again, not your words.
I will let those who agreed with my original comment, speak for themselves.
I do not disagree (and I left space for this in my original comment) that men have and in some cases do fit the negative roles, that the radical feminist movement seized upon and and played up, for power, political positioning and profit. However, there are plenty of abusive women and girls who embody all the bad attributes, you assign solely to men, as well. The issue is not testosterone or masculinity, it is emotional and mental dysfunction. If you're conclusion that testosterone makes an abuser, then you by that anemic definition, would be one...unless you are draining and blocking it's production, in your own body...which is what they are doing to young boys, roped into this lunacy.
You are correct, that there are more guns out there, but whether it's knives, clubs, animal bones or bows and arrows, the risk is always present. Protectors also like to use weapons, defensively and should, when called for.
I will end with this. Our perspectives are usually a product of our environments and experiences. I am happy to report, I can count on 2 fingers, the men I have known who were anywhere close to abusive. That to say, you're heavily skewed assessment may be accurate in your surroundings/experience, but I can and will report the opposite i true, in mine and many others.
I have been very good at populating my life with nice people. Perhaps my negative view of men arises from the fact that I watch a lot of true-crime shows in which men are usually the perpetrators. However, I can count the bad men I have encountered in my 72 years on more than two fingers.
You are using the same argument that conservatives use in promoting the proliferation of guns: "The problem isn't the guns, it is the unbalanced mental states of the shooters." But that isn't true. In a society like ours, which is not homogenous, the easy availability of guns means that they will get used. The same thing applies to food: The easy availability of fast foods means that they will be eaten more.
In my view, testosterone is the problem. If there were a way to reduce testosterone in criminals that was workable and wasn't cruel, I would support it.
What Putin is doing in Ukraine is pure testosterone. Every dictator is driven by testosterone. Most of the crime in the world is testosterone-driven. Testosterone is society's problem.
Sure, there are bad women in the world, but far fewer of them than men.
Perry, I appreciate your intelligent response, truly.
I'm sure it's no surprise, that I will respectfully disagree.
I honestly don't want to hijack this whole post, going down the gun debate or Ukraine dilemma. I'm sure we could exchange pages of differing arguments and some common ground, on those subject and others.
Even though I disagree with you on just about all counts, I appreciate that we're able to listen to one another's perspective and opinions. We most certainly need more of that today.
Simon posted the following reply to me, and then either he or someone else deleted it:
"'Testosterone is the enemy of civilized society' So you approve of puberty blockers and cross sex hormone replacement in little boys?"
To a certain extent, I was being facetious when I said that, but not entirely. Testosterone is certainly the driving force for a lot of bad behavior on the part of men. Of course, that doesn't mean that I believe in the medicalization of children. My HOPE is that as humanity evolves, testosterone levels will naturally decrease. Either that, or that human society will evolve so that men do not feel compelled to do so much harm.
Agreed. Sometimes being "kind" is not kind at all. Supporting a delusion is not a positive thing to do, particularly when it comes to vulnerable, confused adolescents wanting to alter their body so they can effectively become someone else. In many ways the transgender illusion is like doing drugs to escape reality. When you come down from the high, your problems are still there.
As I hear more trans widows' testimonies, I hear the stories of the former husbands' co-existing psychiatric illnesses, typically including OCD, autism, trauma history. There is no long term thinking. Meanwhile a few of us "old gals" are making Dollar Store Dylan reaction videos, such as Peridot Eyes and Pink Grandma youtube channels. We're quite witty occasionally. My contribution to this new genre:
This is clear and concise, easy to absorb and understand. There are so many examples now, of vulnerable individuals told they'll become worse if they start engaging in their own dialectic therapy, which is what expressing the doubts is. Most astonishing is the lack of admission that cross-sex ideation is body dissociation, and a somatic component (not involving surgeries!) is likely to improve things for the individual. I just found out that Dr. Marci Bowers, famed, wealthy father of 3 who "stayed married" after "transition," was at UW-Madison at the same time as me, graduating in micro-biology a year before me. He now claims in the alumni publication that he's "a woman with a transgender history." I bet he has "an open marriage" with the mother of his children. After all, it would have been hard for her to find her own place in expensive California when Bowers "came out" shortly after child number 3 was born.
[For some reason, I can edit my comments only once, and then the Edit option disappears. Is this a change that Substack has made? It used to be that commenters could edit their comments forever.]
Perry, this seems to be a new "feature". I've talked to others, who are seeing the same thing. Hope this gets fixed or reverts back...because this is definitely not customer supportive.
Maybe if enough people submit a "complaint", the tech brains will fix this.
How on earth can anyone go along with ‘’born in the wrong body’ that leads to the medical abuse of children and young people? I only came on board this fight openly and publicly in 2018-19 before that I had done some reading and understood the impacts that were occurring to the lesbian community. We all saw Eddie Redmayne in The Danish Girl and even though that movie gave you compassion for those going through that psychological anguish we all knew he wasn’t a woman and should not be considered one. There are people who have been fighting this crap for a decade or longer. It really doesn’t take that much to find out what’s going on now if you want to do some quick scientific, medical and psychological research that is being written by experts. There are organisations like SEGM, Transgender Trend etc etc. I no longer have ANY respect for people who go along with this crap. They have been given all the time in the world to catch up to the truth of what is happening. World Pride in Australia has shown another group of people ( including the mainstream media ) who would rather turn a blind eye to the harms being caused to women and children by those multinational organisations spruiking for gender clinics, funding Pride programs such as Transwomen in womens sport , workplace equality schemes and by individuals in regions taking advantage of the Pride funding to promote events that go against all safeguarding for children such as Drag Queen Story Time. Many of those turning a blind eye are the LGBT community themselves because they would rather have a party than stop the abuse happening to their own young LGBT people. It’s appalling. It’s got to the stage now where I consider some LGBT individuals to be the same as religious people who turn a blind eye to sexual abuse happening within the ranks of their church. We now have a situation where people would rather be loyal to their LGBT church than speak out about the destruction the institution and bureaucracy of their church is causing.
I know what you mean. Once you see it, you can't unsee it and it starts to seem insane that anyone DOES support it.
But I think when you get your news from liberal legacy media, you aren't seeing the full picture. Even if you type something into the Google search bar, you will get a specific pro-trans perspective. I had doubts and questions for years before I even came across the term 'gender critical,' (thank you to Meghan Murphy and feminist current). I remember the day I found it, I ran out to tell my husband "there's a whole group of people who are asking the same questions I am, there called GENDER CRITICAL!!!"
I asked these questions to people I knew all the time before I found the GC community. Noone seemed to be able to resolve my questions but they also didn't seem remotely motivated to do so either.
This counter movement to transgenderism is composed of the most intellectually curious people while the loudest proponents of trans ideology seem to be the least curious (as Eliza pointed out in a recent piece).
The other important puzzle piece is that... knowingly placing yourself out of step with the zeitgeist is socially risky. People comfortable with being heretical will be the first to do so, when it becomes safer, others will follow.
That's not true for all gay people. I have repeatedly sent letters to LGBT organizations criticizing them for what they are doing, the last one being an organization that is just ten miles distant from me. One of the upshots of the trans trend is that drag queens now have high visibility. When I was young and cruising Greenwich Village, I saw a drag queen a few times a year. Now, they are everywhere -- and everyone considers them part of "diversity", but they are not. They are just men acting out a sexual fetish. "Diversity" means many races, cultures and languages. It does not mean men acting out their sexual fetishes. Drag queens are misogynists. Men dressing up as female prostitutes should be no more acceptable than whites engaging in black-face.
Yes, gays and trans people can be considered part of "diversity", but only if the trans people are REALLY TRANS. And therein is the problem. Being trans is now a fad; and most of the people who are "transitioning" will eventually detransition later.
P.S. People looking for my own Substack site won't find anything because I am having technical problems that Substack has not resolved.
Oh yes. There are many LGB fighting the TQ takeover of their movement and the introduction of gender identity laws.
It’s just that at times like World Pride you see how much of the media, how many organisations and how many individuals are ignoring all of it and pretending it’s not happening because they are using it to gain power, making money out of it or partying.
This is the first time in my life that I have been thankful that there is a strong conservative movement in the U.S. which is against this bullshit. I have been a progressive on most issues until this one came along. The countries in which trans ideology is spreading into the laws are the European countries (and Canada) where there isn't a strong conservative movement.
You seem to have no idea how many LGBs are fighting this 'trans' lunacy. Many have been calling it out and fighting it for years. And I always like to remind people that it was Janice Raymond, a lesbian feminist professor at the U of Mass, who wrote the book, The Transsexual Empire, in 1979, calling out the danger of 'trans' to women. And feminists and lesbians have continued to do so in the face of threats, censoring, and de-platforming. But there are those LGBs who have been duped into the 'trans' cult some not realizing they and their younger fellow travelers and those to come in the future are on the menu. I have particular disdain for those who are so full of internalized homophobia they 'gay convert' themselves by 'transitioning' when they could have gotten some decent therapy if need be (not trans indoctrinated therapists) and lived a truly authentic life as whole and healthy men and women. But the big 'trans' money of the male fetishists took over all of the legacy LGB advocacy orgs, even women's orgs, and they threw women's and LGB's concerns under the bus. But we need to remember that misogyny and homophobia are still a scourge on the land. As long as religious conservatives continue to condemn LGBs and preach homophobia they drive LGBs to the cult. And they have no political home (the Republican Party certainly has not been) that will ensure their full equality as LGBs except those who also promote the 'trans' nonsense, namely, the Democratic Party. As I have repeated many times, the T was forced-teamed onto the LGB to gain greater acceptance for the T but they are two different things. But that was all part of the strategy the male fetishists used to dupe people into thinking 'trans' is the next civil right--it is not. LGB is a sexual orientation based on the material reality of sex, T is an 'identity' based on the invented and incoherent 'gender identity' and no material reality that reifies old stereotypes. Transgenderism is misogynist and homophobic to its core, it is regressive, and no self-respecting woman or LGB wants anything to do w/ it.
I'm not sure who you are talking to, but the trans thing took me by surprise, and the reason was that I never imagined that anyone would be so foolish as to believe that hormones and cosmetic surgery could resolve any gender problem they might be having. I am a person who has shied away from any kind of surgical procedure all my life. Yes, if your ears stuck out like Howdy Doody's, surgery could help you; but to turn yourself into the opposite sex? I still can't believe that so many people are trying to do that. I mean, I knew about the early transsexuals and just considered them to be oddities. How can you take that kind of thing seriously?
But of course, this is the age of cosmetic surgery. People go under the knife for the slightest reason, even (think Joan Rivers) to their ultimate detriment. I just don't trust medicine enough. I just assumed that everyone felt like I did: Surgery is for life-saving emergencies, not to realize your dreams. If everyone felt like I do, all those kids would just be saying "no" to the medicalization.
The biggest surgery I ever had was when the podiatrist anesthetized my big toe and cut away part of the nail because it became ingrown.
I agree w/ all you said. It caught me asleep at the switch until several years ago b/c I was just living my life and not plugged into any activist community. Now activism is required again b/c of this 'trans' lunacy and its pernicious effect on our society. I too thought it was madness to mutilate your body w/ hormones and surgery in a futile attempt to impersonate the opposite sex. I too avoid medical interactions as much as possible knowing the risks and how fallible medical practitioners are. And given that some practitioners have embraced the 'transitioning' lunacy b/c they are ideologically-driven and not driven by evidence-based science or b/c of profiteering or both--it does not lend credibility to the medical profession.
Yes of course I agree with you. I’m not attacking anyone in particular I’m probably like you completely incredulous that this is happening and people are going along with it. I agree with it being homophobia that is driving much of this. That is why it is imperative that whilst fighting this cancerous scourge it is made clear that it is a high majority of LGB that are being Transed. It shows that our culture has really not changed it’s homophonia just redirected it to something that is ‘culturally acceptable’.
What a lonely and painful journey down you describe so beautifully. I'm someone who started to tumble to this hell because of writers like you Eliza, not because of personal experiences with friends identifying as trans or sweating in a library doing original research. I had the support of one dear friend to go on the journey with me. It was gradual, as the news articles that seemed credible were very scarce, just a few years back. There was almost nothing on the right OR the left in the US. I found UK feminists as my first guide. Like so many, I lost friends and social status when I started to speak up, but it's been ok really. It would have been a worse hell to stay silent. So I am deeply appreciative of your path and the gifts of your thoughtful writing. Now that there is a crack in the media, there will be new challenges, even as the hellish truth of the matter is FINALLY being allowed to be aired. Watch the panel on last week's Bill Maher if you haven't, with Ari Melbourne. He doubles down on the whole "civil rights issue" to defend the left-wing media, and I expect to hear more of this. His argument is that because the media was sexist that and racist covering past civil rights movements, that they have tried to course correct. It' just a new smoke screen--this has never been a civil rights movement.
My husband and I haven’t watched last week’s Bill Maher yet, but ugh, Ari Melber is going to drive me nuts. I was a rabid MSNBC addict for years but I can’t stand it now, or NPR. No civil rights movement I recall depended upon society affirming people’s false self-perceptions of themselves.
I’m still recovering from listening to Jill Filipovic on Andrew Sullivan’s podcast. Another elite feminist eager to deny the negative impacts of gender ideology.
I just saw a trailer for a movie which is coming out in April called "Affirmative Generation: The Lies of Transgender Medicine". This appears to be a real movie. The site of the movie company is here:
I watched it too (the movie). It didn't upset me too much because I am already aware of it all -- or, at least, 90% of it. The producers of the movie think that transgender ideology has made more inroads in the U.S. than other countries, but there are some European countries which seem completely fooled by it.
You seem to have "liked" almost all of my comments here. Thank you.
It is produced in the US by PITT - Parents with Inconvenient Truths about Trans. This is a mutual support group for parents left behind by their children's ROGD journey. Many of the stories are heart-breaking.
I have spoken to several gay friends about what's going on. Some are major, major supporters of Human Rights Campaign.
They mouth all the cliches....the 41% suicide, that the process is considered and well-founded....and on and on. In essence they repeat the trans advocate points that they pick up from media.
It is disheartening....and I am gay myself in my 60s.
I think some of you may be very interested in this twitter thread:
I peaked in 2016, after hearing two separate instances of teens asking for binders, and I thought WTF. Researching led me to r/GenderCritical where I found I wasn't alone.
The good intentions of "I want my child to be happy" leading to "I'm helping my child destroy her health" leave me speechless. These parents will have hell to pay. I pity them.
How do we "make people see"? And what are we showing them? What are our expectations? What do we want?
Exposing the widespread sexual abuse of children in the Catholic church did not stop men in power from abusing children but it was hugely significant in helping people believe something like that could happen. Exposing sexual abuse in Hollywood, the dangers of tobacco, government corruption, none of these things have ended but have planted seeds of doubt in people's minds, doubt that the powerful always have the less powerful's best interests at heart.
It helps me to think about issues like this as analogous to familial abuse--often, abuse has been happening for years when someone decides to break their silence. There's been signs, some of them blatant, that something is wrong and yet, no one has come forward. Perhaps attempts have even been made to stop it or leave the abuser and yet, there are complex mechanisms holding everything and everyone in place. In families in which abuse is taking place, those who speak up about abuse risk complete rejection from the family. So it goes in our societal family--complex mechanisms keep abuse and oppression going for centuries and while many may recognize its wrongness, most say and do nothing and those that do risk complete ostracization from society. So what do we do?
For me, I know I will not end the abuse and oppression of women and children in my life but I know it matters deeply to me so I work slowly and methodically to help the powerless to heal, to stop giving their time and energy and resources to the powerful, to keep their energy for themselves and give it only to those who respect and value them. I try to do the same, only give my time and resources to those who are working for change, even if it's their own personal healing. I think it's important we each find sustainable ways to fight abuse and oppression. If you're able to find a way that feels meaningful to you, it's somewhat self-sustaining but we still need support to go on. Do what you can, when you can and form connections. One of the most powerful tools we have is our connection with ourselves and each other.
Down, down, down we go. It is comforting to know we have those like you, Eliza, to put such eloquent words to our experiences. Thank you. I am not alone in seeing that, indeed, the emperor is quite naked.
I have been fascinated and somewhat obsessed with the topic -its actually insane how many facets go into appreciating the full thing (learning through blogs and podcasts from people doing amazing work like yourself). I would actually like to put it down but I can't because so many people are ignoring it, or basing their views without any real understanding and there's much more direct consequences than say climate change.
"Still, people have been pushed—or pulled—over the edge before: parents whose children have disappeared online, only to reemerge with strange new stories to tell; spouses who have lost husbands or wives." Thank you so much for mentioning us Transwidows (and theoretically Transwidowers, although I have yet to meet one!)
“But the stars that marked our starting fall away.
We must go deeper into greater pain,
for it is not permitted that we stay.”
Lovely and heartbreaking.
I worry quite a bit about that fall. Not for the people who will take it — this issue brings out a vengeful side I've never experienced before, but that they in fact won't fall at all because there will never be an awakening. They'll deny the hideous reality, accuse a turned (likely by force) AAP or AMA of having been taken over by "The Right." And what about the ACLU or HRC? What will it take for them to stop pushing the absurd trans narrative? The Golden Bridge for many of the hangers-on will be the minority stress model — that anyone who detransitions will have done so because the rest of the world was too oppressive and not kind. I'm guessing some detransitioners might claim the same regardless of the complexity (or not) of their reasons. But I think most — especially parents who consented to the medical transition of their minor children — will look at the facts and see them as lies.
I don't usually comment with a cliché, but "the road to Hell is paved with good intentions" says it all.
The first time I heard about "affirmative" therapy, in which a kid's trans feelings are simply affirmed, I didn't have to think for even ten seconds before I knew how wrong it was. Kids' minds are full of fantasies and fantastic ideas -- what responsible adult who knows kids would simply affirm any kid's ideas without analyzing them closely?
Actually, I'm quite sure that "affirmative" therapy is not entirely affirmative. The moment the kid expresses doubt about being trans, the therapist probably swoops in to correct the kid. There is clearly a bias being pushed on so-called trans kids.
What astonishes me the most, perhaps, is that anyone who pretends to love children would allow them to damage themselves so obviously. Encouraging girls to cut their breasts off to look like boys -- only a misogynist could do such a thing (and yes, there are lots of women misogynists out there).
Well stated Perry!
I'm going to go off script here and bring in some toxic masculinity...sorry girls, but it has it's place...and this is one of them.
I'm sure most men believe that real (as in biological) women are strong, capable and can do things we can't or never would attempt...the big one is child birth. I've yet to speak to a new father, that didn't relay his wife's warrior qualities and Herculean strength in the delivery room. We know you're much more capable, than we are in many situations.
However, we were given something in much greater quantities than you...masculinity and all that goes with it...for a reason and one of those is to be a natural protector.
The whole women and children first thing, didn't just morph into existence, by itself. A man stepping out in front of his wife, daughter, son or family, as a sacrificial and defensive barrier...wasn't a one time fluke...it is a built in feature...an instinct.
The manifestation of this "toxic" masculinity, is the want of men to protect their children from these predators.
However, the radical liberation movement, has worked for decades, to demonized this instinctual behavior in men...to where many have become beta males (through being raised in a more feminine society) and or being taught to want to be women themselves.
The men who are left are told EVERYTHING about them is toxic/bad, they hate women they are misogynists, they are the reason women are still handmaid's tale slaves, etc.
Now...Yes there are and were men, who fit nicely into the misogyny mold, just as there are women who easily and happily do. However, the majority do not fit that mold, no matter what radical feminist will tell you. Yet, at every turn, with few exceptions, masculinity is criminalized and demonized.
Our society should have strong men and fathers, who would march into these schools, clinics, drag strip shows with kids and haul these perverts and abusers out by their collars (or worse).
If women being raped in an ally, would be fine with a man coming to their rescue and beating the rapist to a pulp...toxic masculinity good...then why is that same masculinity is bad, or worse yet not supported, when it is used to protect children, wives and families.
If anything there should be oceans of women cheering behind any man, who steps up and says, "you will not do this to my daughter or son".
Men don't mind putting women and children in the boat and drowning with the sinking ship, we don't mind getting you out of a burning building first and risking a fiery dasth for the effort, we even don't mind coming to your aide if your being assaulted in the streets and possibly getting shot or going to jail...BUT what we do mind is doing all that...because i's the right and manly thing to do...and then having those same people we helped say, "you're a toxic pig, you're a hater and oppressors, filthy misogynist."...or stand silent, when another woman says the same.
I watched a video about a year back, of a subway incident. There was an agitated black man with a kid, he was ranting and a short white woman made a comment about chilling out. The man got in her face and dared her to say it again...she did and he punched her in the face.
Now, race aside (could have easily been reversed) and the fact that the woman could have kept quiet (but that's another matter)...not ONE man stepped in, to either protect her or put a barrier between her and further harm.
My point is...you may think (as the radicals have taught for decades) that all men are knuckle dragging, idiot, misogynists, toxic women haters and must be decried and feminized as boys...but the subway scenario and many others, show...we learn fast.
If we are going to be demonized (sometimes by our own wives and daughters) as toxic haters, then you will see multitudes of men, step back and sit out the battles. They got the message loud and clear.
That is not good for anyone, but especially women and children.
When the predators know, we've been pushed out of the frontlines or the entire fight, they happily come in force...and win.
On that point, allow me to direct your attention back, to the topic at hand...the grooming and mutilation of our children. There is a reason they feel they can be so damn bold and overt, in this atrocious and evil agenda.
Sorry Perry, didn't meant\ to hi-jack your comment. It's something I have wanted to address here and each time I see a father standing up for his child and family, it brings this to the surface again.
Best of luck to you and all the parents out there navigating this insane mine field.
I find myself wondering who the people are who liked your comment four times.
You have an exaggerated idea of masculinity. Men are not just the protectors in society, they are also the predators -- and indeed, they may play the predator role more often than the protector role.
Testosterone is the enemy of civilized society, not the protector. Once in a while a man may play the role of protector, but not that often. I have done it a few times, but I am not particularly strong. But in a society in which any person can carry a gun, you have to be careful. Predators, despite their greater male strength, like to use weapons.
No, the reputation of men as monsters is more deserved than any reputation they have as saviors. Indeed, men are often the abusers of their own spouses and families. Testosterone makes men (too many of them, at least) think they have a right to control their environments, and that includes their families.
"Testosterone is the enemy of civilized society..." !!!
I love it, you sound like Valerie Solanas.
But c'mon: no testosterone, no society, civilized or otherwise.
Man may be the apex destroyer, but he is also the apex conqueror, the founder and creator of every extant society.
But hey, it's best for all of us to put down the broad brush...
It's interesting to hear what you chauvinists say when you come crawling out of the woodwork.
"Man may be the apex destroyer, but he is also the apex conqueror, the founder and creator of every extant society." Is being a conqueror a good thing? More testosterone. "Founder and creator" -- women had nothing to do with the founding and creating of societies? You need to take a testosterone blocker. You are out of control.
i love talking to u!
we should do a podcast...
I will whole heartedly disagree with the broad brush strokes you paint men and masculinity with, as well as your declaration of:
"Testosterone is the enemy of civilized society"...however, I will respect your ability and right to have a differing perspective and belief, than my own. I will not put words in your mouth, but that seems like a veiled version of, "if all men were women, civilized society would be utopia".
Again, not your words.
I will let those who agreed with my original comment, speak for themselves.
I do not disagree (and I left space for this in my original comment) that men have and in some cases do fit the negative roles, that the radical feminist movement seized upon and and played up, for power, political positioning and profit. However, there are plenty of abusive women and girls who embody all the bad attributes, you assign solely to men, as well. The issue is not testosterone or masculinity, it is emotional and mental dysfunction. If you're conclusion that testosterone makes an abuser, then you by that anemic definition, would be one...unless you are draining and blocking it's production, in your own body...which is what they are doing to young boys, roped into this lunacy.
You are correct, that there are more guns out there, but whether it's knives, clubs, animal bones or bows and arrows, the risk is always present. Protectors also like to use weapons, defensively and should, when called for.
I will end with this. Our perspectives are usually a product of our environments and experiences. I am happy to report, I can count on 2 fingers, the men I have known who were anywhere close to abusive. That to say, you're heavily skewed assessment may be accurate in your surroundings/experience, but I can and will report the opposite i true, in mine and many others.
I have been very good at populating my life with nice people. Perhaps my negative view of men arises from the fact that I watch a lot of true-crime shows in which men are usually the perpetrators. However, I can count the bad men I have encountered in my 72 years on more than two fingers.
You are using the same argument that conservatives use in promoting the proliferation of guns: "The problem isn't the guns, it is the unbalanced mental states of the shooters." But that isn't true. In a society like ours, which is not homogenous, the easy availability of guns means that they will get used. The same thing applies to food: The easy availability of fast foods means that they will be eaten more.
In my view, testosterone is the problem. If there were a way to reduce testosterone in criminals that was workable and wasn't cruel, I would support it.
What Putin is doing in Ukraine is pure testosterone. Every dictator is driven by testosterone. Most of the crime in the world is testosterone-driven. Testosterone is society's problem.
Sure, there are bad women in the world, but far fewer of them than men.
Perry, I appreciate your intelligent response, truly.
I'm sure it's no surprise, that I will respectfully disagree.
I honestly don't want to hijack this whole post, going down the gun debate or Ukraine dilemma. I'm sure we could exchange pages of differing arguments and some common ground, on those subject and others.
Even though I disagree with you on just about all counts, I appreciate that we're able to listen to one another's perspective and opinions. We most certainly need more of that today.
I will wish you well and good health.
Simon posted the following reply to me, and then either he or someone else deleted it:
"'Testosterone is the enemy of civilized society' So you approve of puberty blockers and cross sex hormone replacement in little boys?"
To a certain extent, I was being facetious when I said that, but not entirely. Testosterone is certainly the driving force for a lot of bad behavior on the part of men. Of course, that doesn't mean that I believe in the medicalization of children. My HOPE is that as humanity evolves, testosterone levels will naturally decrease. Either that, or that human society will evolve so that men do not feel compelled to do so much harm.
Agreed. Sometimes being "kind" is not kind at all. Supporting a delusion is not a positive thing to do, particularly when it comes to vulnerable, confused adolescents wanting to alter their body so they can effectively become someone else. In many ways the transgender illusion is like doing drugs to escape reality. When you come down from the high, your problems are still there.
When you come down from the high, your problems are WORSE!
As I hear more trans widows' testimonies, I hear the stories of the former husbands' co-existing psychiatric illnesses, typically including OCD, autism, trauma history. There is no long term thinking. Meanwhile a few of us "old gals" are making Dollar Store Dylan reaction videos, such as Peridot Eyes and Pink Grandma youtube channels. We're quite witty occasionally. My contribution to this new genre:
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/dH9oi1s-_KQ
This is clear and concise, easy to absorb and understand. There are so many examples now, of vulnerable individuals told they'll become worse if they start engaging in their own dialectic therapy, which is what expressing the doubts is. Most astonishing is the lack of admission that cross-sex ideation is body dissociation, and a somatic component (not involving surgeries!) is likely to improve things for the individual. I just found out that Dr. Marci Bowers, famed, wealthy father of 3 who "stayed married" after "transition," was at UW-Madison at the same time as me, graduating in micro-biology a year before me. He now claims in the alumni publication that he's "a woman with a transgender history." I bet he has "an open marriage" with the mother of his children. After all, it would have been hard for her to find her own place in expensive California when Bowers "came out" shortly after child number 3 was born.
[For some reason, I can edit my comments only once, and then the Edit option disappears. Is this a change that Substack has made? It used to be that commenters could edit their comments forever.]
Perry, this seems to be a new "feature". I've talked to others, who are seeing the same thing. Hope this gets fixed or reverts back...because this is definitely not customer supportive.
Maybe if enough people submit a "complaint", the tech brains will fix this.
Glad you mentioned that - happened to me earlier today.
How on earth can anyone go along with ‘’born in the wrong body’ that leads to the medical abuse of children and young people? I only came on board this fight openly and publicly in 2018-19 before that I had done some reading and understood the impacts that were occurring to the lesbian community. We all saw Eddie Redmayne in The Danish Girl and even though that movie gave you compassion for those going through that psychological anguish we all knew he wasn’t a woman and should not be considered one. There are people who have been fighting this crap for a decade or longer. It really doesn’t take that much to find out what’s going on now if you want to do some quick scientific, medical and psychological research that is being written by experts. There are organisations like SEGM, Transgender Trend etc etc. I no longer have ANY respect for people who go along with this crap. They have been given all the time in the world to catch up to the truth of what is happening. World Pride in Australia has shown another group of people ( including the mainstream media ) who would rather turn a blind eye to the harms being caused to women and children by those multinational organisations spruiking for gender clinics, funding Pride programs such as Transwomen in womens sport , workplace equality schemes and by individuals in regions taking advantage of the Pride funding to promote events that go against all safeguarding for children such as Drag Queen Story Time. Many of those turning a blind eye are the LGBT community themselves because they would rather have a party than stop the abuse happening to their own young LGBT people. It’s appalling. It’s got to the stage now where I consider some LGBT individuals to be the same as religious people who turn a blind eye to sexual abuse happening within the ranks of their church. We now have a situation where people would rather be loyal to their LGBT church than speak out about the destruction the institution and bureaucracy of their church is causing.
I know what you mean. Once you see it, you can't unsee it and it starts to seem insane that anyone DOES support it.
But I think when you get your news from liberal legacy media, you aren't seeing the full picture. Even if you type something into the Google search bar, you will get a specific pro-trans perspective. I had doubts and questions for years before I even came across the term 'gender critical,' (thank you to Meghan Murphy and feminist current). I remember the day I found it, I ran out to tell my husband "there's a whole group of people who are asking the same questions I am, there called GENDER CRITICAL!!!"
I asked these questions to people I knew all the time before I found the GC community. Noone seemed to be able to resolve my questions but they also didn't seem remotely motivated to do so either.
This counter movement to transgenderism is composed of the most intellectually curious people while the loudest proponents of trans ideology seem to be the least curious (as Eliza pointed out in a recent piece).
The other important puzzle piece is that... knowingly placing yourself out of step with the zeitgeist is socially risky. People comfortable with being heretical will be the first to do so, when it becomes safer, others will follow.
That's not true for all gay people. I have repeatedly sent letters to LGBT organizations criticizing them for what they are doing, the last one being an organization that is just ten miles distant from me. One of the upshots of the trans trend is that drag queens now have high visibility. When I was young and cruising Greenwich Village, I saw a drag queen a few times a year. Now, they are everywhere -- and everyone considers them part of "diversity", but they are not. They are just men acting out a sexual fetish. "Diversity" means many races, cultures and languages. It does not mean men acting out their sexual fetishes. Drag queens are misogynists. Men dressing up as female prostitutes should be no more acceptable than whites engaging in black-face.
Yes, gays and trans people can be considered part of "diversity", but only if the trans people are REALLY TRANS. And therein is the problem. Being trans is now a fad; and most of the people who are "transitioning" will eventually detransition later.
P.S. People looking for my own Substack site won't find anything because I am having technical problems that Substack has not resolved.
Oh yes. There are many LGB fighting the TQ takeover of their movement and the introduction of gender identity laws.
It’s just that at times like World Pride you see how much of the media, how many organisations and how many individuals are ignoring all of it and pretending it’s not happening because they are using it to gain power, making money out of it or partying.
This is the first time in my life that I have been thankful that there is a strong conservative movement in the U.S. which is against this bullshit. I have been a progressive on most issues until this one came along. The countries in which trans ideology is spreading into the laws are the European countries (and Canada) where there isn't a strong conservative movement.
You seem to have no idea how many LGBs are fighting this 'trans' lunacy. Many have been calling it out and fighting it for years. And I always like to remind people that it was Janice Raymond, a lesbian feminist professor at the U of Mass, who wrote the book, The Transsexual Empire, in 1979, calling out the danger of 'trans' to women. And feminists and lesbians have continued to do so in the face of threats, censoring, and de-platforming. But there are those LGBs who have been duped into the 'trans' cult some not realizing they and their younger fellow travelers and those to come in the future are on the menu. I have particular disdain for those who are so full of internalized homophobia they 'gay convert' themselves by 'transitioning' when they could have gotten some decent therapy if need be (not trans indoctrinated therapists) and lived a truly authentic life as whole and healthy men and women. But the big 'trans' money of the male fetishists took over all of the legacy LGB advocacy orgs, even women's orgs, and they threw women's and LGB's concerns under the bus. But we need to remember that misogyny and homophobia are still a scourge on the land. As long as religious conservatives continue to condemn LGBs and preach homophobia they drive LGBs to the cult. And they have no political home (the Republican Party certainly has not been) that will ensure their full equality as LGBs except those who also promote the 'trans' nonsense, namely, the Democratic Party. As I have repeated many times, the T was forced-teamed onto the LGB to gain greater acceptance for the T but they are two different things. But that was all part of the strategy the male fetishists used to dupe people into thinking 'trans' is the next civil right--it is not. LGB is a sexual orientation based on the material reality of sex, T is an 'identity' based on the invented and incoherent 'gender identity' and no material reality that reifies old stereotypes. Transgenderism is misogynist and homophobic to its core, it is regressive, and no self-respecting woman or LGB wants anything to do w/ it.
I'm not sure who you are talking to, but the trans thing took me by surprise, and the reason was that I never imagined that anyone would be so foolish as to believe that hormones and cosmetic surgery could resolve any gender problem they might be having. I am a person who has shied away from any kind of surgical procedure all my life. Yes, if your ears stuck out like Howdy Doody's, surgery could help you; but to turn yourself into the opposite sex? I still can't believe that so many people are trying to do that. I mean, I knew about the early transsexuals and just considered them to be oddities. How can you take that kind of thing seriously?
But of course, this is the age of cosmetic surgery. People go under the knife for the slightest reason, even (think Joan Rivers) to their ultimate detriment. I just don't trust medicine enough. I just assumed that everyone felt like I did: Surgery is for life-saving emergencies, not to realize your dreams. If everyone felt like I do, all those kids would just be saying "no" to the medicalization.
The biggest surgery I ever had was when the podiatrist anesthetized my big toe and cut away part of the nail because it became ingrown.
I agree w/ all you said. It caught me asleep at the switch until several years ago b/c I was just living my life and not plugged into any activist community. Now activism is required again b/c of this 'trans' lunacy and its pernicious effect on our society. I too thought it was madness to mutilate your body w/ hormones and surgery in a futile attempt to impersonate the opposite sex. I too avoid medical interactions as much as possible knowing the risks and how fallible medical practitioners are. And given that some practitioners have embraced the 'transitioning' lunacy b/c they are ideologically-driven and not driven by evidence-based science or b/c of profiteering or both--it does not lend credibility to the medical profession.
Yes of course I agree with you. I’m not attacking anyone in particular I’m probably like you completely incredulous that this is happening and people are going along with it. I agree with it being homophobia that is driving much of this. That is why it is imperative that whilst fighting this cancerous scourge it is made clear that it is a high majority of LGB that are being Transed. It shows that our culture has really not changed it’s homophonia just redirected it to something that is ‘culturally acceptable’.
What a lonely and painful journey down you describe so beautifully. I'm someone who started to tumble to this hell because of writers like you Eliza, not because of personal experiences with friends identifying as trans or sweating in a library doing original research. I had the support of one dear friend to go on the journey with me. It was gradual, as the news articles that seemed credible were very scarce, just a few years back. There was almost nothing on the right OR the left in the US. I found UK feminists as my first guide. Like so many, I lost friends and social status when I started to speak up, but it's been ok really. It would have been a worse hell to stay silent. So I am deeply appreciative of your path and the gifts of your thoughtful writing. Now that there is a crack in the media, there will be new challenges, even as the hellish truth of the matter is FINALLY being allowed to be aired. Watch the panel on last week's Bill Maher if you haven't, with Ari Melbourne. He doubles down on the whole "civil rights issue" to defend the left-wing media, and I expect to hear more of this. His argument is that because the media was sexist that and racist covering past civil rights movements, that they have tried to course correct. It' just a new smoke screen--this has never been a civil rights movement.
My husband and I haven’t watched last week’s Bill Maher yet, but ugh, Ari Melber is going to drive me nuts. I was a rabid MSNBC addict for years but I can’t stand it now, or NPR. No civil rights movement I recall depended upon society affirming people’s false self-perceptions of themselves.
I’m still recovering from listening to Jill Filipovic on Andrew Sullivan’s podcast. Another elite feminist eager to deny the negative impacts of gender ideology.
I just saw a trailer for a movie which is coming out in April called "Affirmative Generation: The Lies of Transgender Medicine". This appears to be a real movie. The site of the movie company is here:
https://affirmationgenerationmovie.com/
This is very good news.
You can watch it now https://open.substack.com/pub/thedistance/p/affirmation-generation-the-lies-of?r=ir88z&utm_medium=ios&utm_campaign=post
Also on Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/800032857
Please watch it there to boost its ratings, the transifiers are trying to have it taken down as "hate" speech.
Also, if you have a vimeo account (free), log in and click the "like" heart in the upper right corner of the video.
Watched it -- it was excellent (though upsetting).
I watched it too (the movie). It didn't upset me too much because I am already aware of it all -- or, at least, 90% of it. The producers of the movie think that transgender ideology has made more inroads in the U.S. than other countries, but there are some European countries which seem completely fooled by it.
You seem to have "liked" almost all of my comments here. Thank you.
It is produced in the US by PITT - Parents with Inconvenient Truths about Trans. This is a mutual support group for parents left behind by their children's ROGD journey. Many of the stories are heart-breaking.
Excellent film
Woops -- make that "Affirmation Generation" (can't edit my comments, sorry.)
Complain to substack about the edit button change here:
https://support.substack.com/hc/en-us/requests/new
I have spoken to several gay friends about what's going on. Some are major, major supporters of Human Rights Campaign.
They mouth all the cliches....the 41% suicide, that the process is considered and well-founded....and on and on. In essence they repeat the trans advocate points that they pick up from media.
It is disheartening....and I am gay myself in my 60s.
I think some of you may be very interested in this twitter thread:
https://twitter.com/byrne_a/status/1627688070513401856
I peaked in 2016, after hearing two separate instances of teens asking for binders, and I thought WTF. Researching led me to r/GenderCritical where I found I wasn't alone.
It has been gratifying to see the tide turning on this. I think the majority of supporters, however ill-informed or poorly thought-out their opinions are, have good intentions. I can't imagine the kind of cognitive dissonance it would take to write something like this: https://honey.nine.com.au/parenting/my-15-year-old-transgender-son-is-going-through-menopause-and-im-so-proud-of-him/4840ac74-bae2-4ce9-bfd4-8533da02fb67
The good intentions of "I want my child to be happy" leading to "I'm helping my child destroy her health" leave me speechless. These parents will have hell to pay. I pity them.
How do we "make people see"? And what are we showing them? What are our expectations? What do we want?
Exposing the widespread sexual abuse of children in the Catholic church did not stop men in power from abusing children but it was hugely significant in helping people believe something like that could happen. Exposing sexual abuse in Hollywood, the dangers of tobacco, government corruption, none of these things have ended but have planted seeds of doubt in people's minds, doubt that the powerful always have the less powerful's best interests at heart.
It helps me to think about issues like this as analogous to familial abuse--often, abuse has been happening for years when someone decides to break their silence. There's been signs, some of them blatant, that something is wrong and yet, no one has come forward. Perhaps attempts have even been made to stop it or leave the abuser and yet, there are complex mechanisms holding everything and everyone in place. In families in which abuse is taking place, those who speak up about abuse risk complete rejection from the family. So it goes in our societal family--complex mechanisms keep abuse and oppression going for centuries and while many may recognize its wrongness, most say and do nothing and those that do risk complete ostracization from society. So what do we do?
For me, I know I will not end the abuse and oppression of women and children in my life but I know it matters deeply to me so I work slowly and methodically to help the powerless to heal, to stop giving their time and energy and resources to the powerful, to keep their energy for themselves and give it only to those who respect and value them. I try to do the same, only give my time and resources to those who are working for change, even if it's their own personal healing. I think it's important we each find sustainable ways to fight abuse and oppression. If you're able to find a way that feels meaningful to you, it's somewhat self-sustaining but we still need support to go on. Do what you can, when you can and form connections. One of the most powerful tools we have is our connection with ourselves and each other.
Down, down, down we go. It is comforting to know we have those like you, Eliza, to put such eloquent words to our experiences. Thank you. I am not alone in seeing that, indeed, the emperor is quite naked.
Fresh circles every day. Today was Lolicon.
Lovely translation - whose?
Ciaran Carson, the NYRB edition
I have been fascinated and somewhat obsessed with the topic -its actually insane how many facets go into appreciating the full thing (learning through blogs and podcasts from people doing amazing work like yourself). I would actually like to put it down but I can't because so many people are ignoring it, or basing their views without any real understanding and there's much more direct consequences than say climate change.
"Still, people have been pushed—or pulled—over the edge before: parents whose children have disappeared online, only to reemerge with strange new stories to tell; spouses who have lost husbands or wives." Thank you so much for mentioning us Transwidows (and theoretically Transwidowers, although I have yet to meet one!)
I know one man, actually... but know several lesbian women who have lost wives to trans.
“But the stars that marked our starting fall away.
We must go deeper into greater pain,
for it is not permitted that we stay.”
Lovely and heartbreaking.
I worry quite a bit about that fall. Not for the people who will take it — this issue brings out a vengeful side I've never experienced before, but that they in fact won't fall at all because there will never be an awakening. They'll deny the hideous reality, accuse a turned (likely by force) AAP or AMA of having been taken over by "The Right." And what about the ACLU or HRC? What will it take for them to stop pushing the absurd trans narrative? The Golden Bridge for many of the hangers-on will be the minority stress model — that anyone who detransitions will have done so because the rest of the world was too oppressive and not kind. I'm guessing some detransitioners might claim the same regardless of the complexity (or not) of their reasons. But I think most — especially parents who consented to the medical transition of their minor children — will look at the facts and see them as lies.
Lovely words though still a long way to go beware those sailing on the wave as tidal streams can turn not so in the depths with Eliza.
👍