"Only pain perceived as curable is intolerable." I'm sorry but that's just not true. One of the things that makes a difference to a person's ability to tolerate emotional pain is whether or not they feel hope for the alleviation of that pain in the future. When a patient gives up hope that they will ever feel different from how they do n…
"Only pain perceived as curable is intolerable." I'm sorry but that's just not true. One of the things that makes a difference to a person's ability to tolerate emotional pain is whether or not they feel hope for the alleviation of that pain in the future. When a patient gives up hope that they will ever feel different from how they do now, that is a major risk indicator of suicide, ie because losing hope that their pain will ever go away makes the pain feel intolerable. Which is why helping your patient to have realistic hope is a suicide prevention strategy in counselling work with suicidal patients. In the case of a menopausal woman or man who identifies as a woman and is grieving about not being able to get pregnant that realistic hope would look like "you won't ever be able to get pregnant, but you won't always feel this intense intolerable grief about this, because feelings change, and as you work through your grief your feelings about this will change, and you will learn to live with this and it will be okay."
But yes, the goal should be to help these folks feel comfortable in their own skin. And that would be the way to reduce their suffering. The goal is (or ought to be) to reduce their suffering by helping them to accept themselves as they are, and accept reality, and feel more comfortable in their skin. Just like working with a client with an eating disorder.
"Only pain perceived as curable is intolerable." I'm sorry but that's just not true. One of the things that makes a difference to a person's ability to tolerate emotional pain is whether or not they feel hope for the alleviation of that pain in the future. When a patient gives up hope that they will ever feel different from how they do now, that is a major risk indicator of suicide, ie because losing hope that their pain will ever go away makes the pain feel intolerable. Which is why helping your patient to have realistic hope is a suicide prevention strategy in counselling work with suicidal patients. In the case of a menopausal woman or man who identifies as a woman and is grieving about not being able to get pregnant that realistic hope would look like "you won't ever be able to get pregnant, but you won't always feel this intense intolerable grief about this, because feelings change, and as you work through your grief your feelings about this will change, and you will learn to live with this and it will be okay."
But yes, the goal should be to help these folks feel comfortable in their own skin. And that would be the way to reduce their suffering. The goal is (or ought to be) to reduce their suffering by helping them to accept themselves as they are, and accept reality, and feel more comfortable in their skin. Just like working with a client with an eating disorder.