The impossible pursuit of acceptance when you're pretending to be something you're not

It's difficult for any individual—and any movement, for that matter—to pretend to be something you're not and to seek acceptance as what you are not.

Real respect, real recognition, and real acceptance all require real understanding. So it’s always curious that the most vocal trans activists withhold that from the very people they make such a show of celebrating.

Same goes for real self-respect, real self-recognition, and real self-acceptance. Real self-understanding is necessary.

It's not a coincidence that the trans people who appear to benefit most from transition accept its limits, don't deny their sex, and don't rely on others to follow along with the script.

It's difficult for any individual—and any movement, for that matter—to pretend to be something you're not and to seek acceptance as what you are not. You're always at risk of being exposed. 'Acceptance' purchased at such a price is not acceptance at all. No wonder it's never enough.

The trans movement pretends to be something it is not: a grassroots movement for human rights that has no implications for women, no implications for same-sex attracted people, no implications for children's wellbeing.

Since the truth is [much] more complicated than trans activists will admit, no one must be permitted to speak freely about this movement that seeks to reshape our societies and the very idea of what it means to be human/embodied.

But a more honest trans movement is possible—and that honesty and openness is what would make real acceptance possible.

(Here are a few ideas for where to start…)

A more honest and open trans movement would also drop the attempt to equate sex and gender identity. This would end the conflict between the trans movement's demands and women's sex-based rights overnight.

The fact that women and transwomen (that is, trans-identifying males) are two different groups that do not overlap, with different sets of needs and interests, means that equating the two groups will always privilege one group over the other. Right now, trans (male) issues are prioritized over female issues in the women's movement.

But it's possible to imagine a world in which equating TW and women's issues erased TW’s unique needs and experiences instead. Ultimately, it's not beneficial for either group for two unlike groups to be equated in this way.

This would also mean adopting a new language for trans identities, rather than redefining words that women and girls need.

A more honest trans activism might look more like the grassroots women's movement of the 1960s and '70s, which looked at what women needed in the world and went out and met those needs, creating refuges, bookstores, workshops, and meeting places.

A more honest trans movement would accept that transition doesn't work for everybody and that there are legitimate reasons to detransition and exit the community.

A more honest trans movement would welcome ethical research into transition outcomes, so that trans-identifying people could receive the highest quality care.

Right now, the push to remove gatekeeping and stamp out inquiry means that trans-identifying children and young people are being experimented on — except that experiments are supposed to track outcomes and learn from what doesn't work.

That's not happening.