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Still from the Danish Girl

How Did you know for certain you were trans and you didn’t regret it?

How Do I know I’m a trans girl (ftm?)

So I’ve been questioning many things now for a while and i’m in this loop of distress. I’m struggling to figure out if i’m transgender or not. Over the years I’ve know what trans was because I was left with the internet unsupervised. As a child I always played with my cousins dolls and anything girly to be honest. With so much time on youtube I found popular T-girls like GiGi gorgeous, jazz jennings, sonni’s love and more. I would watch their videos all day long and eventually I used to say “I’m gonna grow up move away and be a girl” Two years later I came out as gay, I thought to myself it’s because I didn’t know what gay was so I completely gave up that “I wanna be a girl” thing and simply just did feminine things. I get my hair done with extensions, I paint my nails, wear lipgloss etc and I was happy with simply being feminine. At certain times I would catch myself comparing my features to a woman’s and if we share that same feature (i.e big hands) I would feel validated like it was okay for me to have that feature too. Earlier this year is when I really started to think, slowly and surely I’ve started to become empty feeling, I don’t feel as happy as I did being a feminine boy, like it’s not enough. I told my friend, she took me to pink and I tried on a bra, after seeing myself it made me emotional I cried a bit and I didn’t know what that meant, so I did the next thing which was asking certain people to use certain pronouns, which I don’t really feel anything for tbh, most days things like “sir,bro, brother” make me feel weird but I don’t have a visceral reaction. So with this I concluded I’m trans, but my thing is how do I know i’m not about to regret this? I know I’d want boobs and to be more feminine but I’m so consumed by this fear that I’ll regret it and that I’ll look freaky and my body will be mutilated, I’m scared that I’m just doing this for attention and to spice up my life and that i’m “transtrender” I was considering doing a low dose of e to see how I may feel. I’m just so scared i’m gonna do this regret everything and end up deleting myself. I hate facial hair, I hate my big hands, I hate the way my face is more sharp than round. But does that mean I wanna be a girl, Albeit I would press this button that everyone’s speaking about—and I would identify as a woman if I was stranded on an island :)! But it’s just so scary, I know that being feminine doesn’t make you a woman and you don’t have to be one to be feminine hence why I’m here, but Honestly I’m just so scared, i’m scared i’d look freaky and I’m scared that everyone will just treat me like a stranger??? Can anybody offer advice or share their stories???