"Every step I take in my transition makes the dysphoria more intense"

Seemed appropriate

Transition exacerbates dysphoria, take #999813578:

Dysphoria more noticeable after starting T?

Hey friends,

I started T 3 weeks ago, so I’m really new to this. Before starting, I had some dysphoria but nothing really over the top. It was part of why I waited so long to really even entertain the idea that I was trans. Plus, growing up as a fat kid I never felt like I fit in as a girl or woman, but explained that away by thinking once I was thin I would magically be a woman (funny to look back on lol).

Anyway, I’m super new to T and I’m feeling the impatience of having to wait for changes, I’m also out pretty much everywhere now socially. And I’m having all these dysphoric feelings now?

I’ve identified as non-binary for a long time, and I’m finally starting to admit to myself, my therapist and a few close friends that I’m just straight up ftm, though still grappling with that. I’m sure that’s contributing to how I feel right now too.

In the past few weeks getting misgendered hurts more than it ever did. It really used to not bother me much (or I buried that shit deep, maybe). My dysphoria feels like it’s making me not want to be perceived until I pass, I guess.

I guess I assumed gender stuff would just feel so good once I started T but now I’m just like all mixed up. I’m also dealing with job burnout and family shit though too, so it could be more than just gender stuff.

This is kinda ramble-y and maybe doesn’t make sense but writing it out helped. If anyone relates maybe or has encouraging words I’d appreciate it. Thanks 🙏🏻

There is, as always, a lot to unpack here.